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Well I Haven't posted anything in awhile.
Mother's day was a very emotional day for me. Not only was I missing my mother deeply (she's been in Heaven now 4 years) I was missing my family and feeling empty not having a child but wanting one so much.
The church I attended did something wonderful for all women not just biological mothers. All of us even those of us still single and with no children. At the end of service the pastor recognized all women as mothers. Confirming what the Lord told me about being mother of many. He had all of us come up the front with our backs to the congregation. Then tears sprang to my eyes at what happened next. The children entered and after finding their mom and giving her a flower and gift which was a picture frame they proceeded to deliver a pink flower and the frame to the rest of us as well.
I knew the one I got was specifically meant to me by the Lord. There was a verse on it that said "A woman who fears the Lord is to be praise" It is found in Proverbs 31. It had me in tears. I was recognized as a mother. But it made me miss my mother even more if that makes sense.
Monday I went back to school my break was over. I am in my last semster now. It hurts so bad knowing mama won't be at my graduation, won't be able to see how far I've come and rejoice in this victory with me. Something I so wish she could. I wish one of my siblings would come but not one of them talks to me because I walk in the Light of the Lord. It isn't an easy decision and came with a big decision and I just hope and pray one day they will come to HIM as well.
I have an interview tomorrow at 1 for placement and I pray I get it as well and I know the Lord will bring me through this last semester with flying colours.
I was even able to finally save up and buy a car. I'm hoping and praying it's on the road soon. It's being fixed up for me.
My heart hurts as well. Today I found myself praying for a family I did not know that is losing their child/brother/grandson/nephew and I began to cry. I cried for this family and in pain as I prayed for the Lord not to take him this soon. As I prayed for the Lord to heal the boy. He has a twin brother and a sister and of course his parents they all need him. I kept praying and as I prayed I sobbed. Why must cancer take so many lives?
Right now I'm emotional over everything... In my last semester well.... And there's so much going on right now. But I know God is there holding me just as HE is holding that family I prayed for and I know HE will see me through it all.