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It's no wonder your niece calls out your name when her parents are disciplining her. You've never showed anything but love and compassion for her. But in order to be a truly trusted guardian from her perspective (and her parents') she'll want to know that you will keep her safe. If she goes to run across the street while in your care, surely you will discipline her behavior to keep her safe. If she is holding a sharp object, you will take it away from her and strongly explain to her why it's dangerous. Now she's putting her little sister in danger. She needs to know that you will also keep her sister safe. Even from her.

Children test their parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles and other guardians to make sure they will keep them safe. She won't stop loving you if you show the same authoritative strength as her parents. In fact, chances are, her trust in you will just grow stronger.

And bottom line, if a parent is disciplining a niece or nephew - assuming it's not abusive - it's your role to support the parent.

Of course, I'm not a psychologist or child behavior specialist. This is just my personal opinion. I'd love to have other Savvy Aunties share theirs as well....

Last time Lizzie went after Lee Lee just because I told her that I still loved her and I would always love her but I also had space just for Lee Lee in my heart and I didn't want to see Lee Lee get hurt, so Auntie doesn't want you to hit or throw things at her anymore. I'm normally rather passive in such matters and how much does a young 2 year old really understand? I know the answer is more than we give them credit for understanding but you know...

Thanks for the great advice aunties!

I was my grandfather's only granddaughter in a large family of boys...so he definitely spoiled me. I remember when I was very little, when he is around, I would run to him whenever I knew my mother is going to punish me for something. He'd always let me off the hook, and I knew it. That must have been so frustrating for my poor mother!

I agree with the other aunties: Stay strong! And back up the parents because they need your support too. It's always somewhat emotionally tough when disciplining your kid - it always makes me feel like the Wicked Witch of the West - so it's probably just as heartbreaking for their parents to see them call to you for help.

when my sister tells my nephew no and he comes running to me, i try to distract him with a toy or a silly face. he's only 16 months old so i know he isn't going to understand completely what 'no' means or why his hand is being smacked, so there's no point in me telling him why mommy and daddy said no. i just distract him from crying.

All of my nieces and nephews know that I will always stand with mom and dad. Sometimes I can even be a little stricter than mom and dad. I have learned that as long as I take time to play with them, listen to them, and make them feel loved they will love me in turn. In fact my youngest nephew is always loving on me and telling me he loves me and he knows that when he breaks a rule he will be punished. My sister boys who live about an hour and half away beg me to stay longer and want to spend more time with me. They too know that there will be consequences if they break a rule. I am more than willing to do my part to help them learn respect and compassion. I want them to grow up and become loving adults. I have no fear of losing their love over a little discipline.