Not sure how to be a good aunt.
Does anyone else out there have emotionally abusive relationships with their siblings and it's providing a barrier to being a good aunt.
Without getting into the details. I grew up with one of three older sisters. Everyone else is 10+ years older than me. From age 10 on it was me and my parents mostly. I don't have memories of my sisters really in my life, any more then I can count on my fingers - each one of those times I cherish. I didn't have extended family around me, I don't really know what a sister is supposed to be much less being an aunt.
When my sisters started to get married, I was still young - a teenager mostly. When the babies were born, I would be the last to know - often days after the event. I would be in school waiting for the call and the only call I got was that of disappointed and angry family members. I've never held my nieces or nephews when they were babies, one sister told me that I would probably hurt them. So I've been really frightened to hold babies ever since. When my sister made the announcement her adoption was going through, the champagne flowed long before I got there. I didn't know what was up until I saw the bottles. I would be lying if I said I wasn't sad. But, I really want to figure out a way to not let the pain and hurt of being rejected by my sisters stop me from being a good aunt and having a positive and healthy relationship with my nieces and nephews.
I'm not a bad person! I don't drink, I don't do drugs. I like museums and art. I graduated from university, I have a growing media business. I love dancing and playing video games. I have my own business, no consumer debt and I'm a pro in the kitchen. I don't eat junk food, except for the occasional treat.
I've molded my life in an effort to make my sisters like me - thinking being the best person possible was the key. Ironically, I was told that being "perfect" was just aggravating them. So, I've come to accept the issue has nothing to do with me and I'm tired of waiting for them to come around because it's preventing me from having a relationship with my nieces and nephews.
Has anyone else have emotionally abusive relationships with their siblings that makes being a good auntie hard? I could do with some advice, because I'm finding it a challenge, but it's one I really want to overcome. Tips and other personal experiences are what I'm looking for.
I'm just tired of feeling alone and helpless.