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Aunt-Hood

Adjusting to a Change in Custody

By weekendmom , Aug 15 2012

I am not sure if I am posting this in the right place but I could use some advice.

For the past two years my sister and nephew have lived with me, I have watched him while she is at work during her custody time. Today a court decided my nephew should relocate with his father to a different state (6 hour flight away) and will only be spending about 6 weeks a year with us. I feel like I am losing my child and don't know how to adapt to this. My nephew's father does not like me and during my nephews visits to his far away home has refused to allow me any telephone contact with him and has thrown out mail I have sent without letting my nephew see it. How do I make sure my 4 year old nephew knows that I still love him and want to be a part of his life when my contact with him will be so limited? Also how do I adapt to this change in my life?

heykvb replied at 2:14pm on Aug 15 2012

It seems like the first thing to do would be try talk to your nephew's dad. See if he is open to at least a civil relationship, for the sake of your nephew. (Don't be afraid to emphasize the importance of family. Maybe you can even agree to some terms, like if you think he's afraid you are talking trash about him during your visits/correspondences with your nephew, assure him that you will not do that. Maybe offer to send a few letters to the both of them that they could read together, so Dad will get to establish some trust with you. Be persistent if you have to, to a reasonable degree of course. Above all, remember that it is about your nephew and don't do anything now that could jeopardize your relationship in the future. Best of luck with this, I know it must be very hard.