Hello all! I'm new. Please read
Last night I was searching for websites relating to Aunts raising their nephews/ nieces. I found Aunt Savvy!
Here's my story:
During the last month of school for my nephew in the 2014-2015 school year, it became very apparent that he was being physically abused. The pictures DISGUSTED me and made me feel sick to my stomach. My brother, who is my nephews father, said he fell up the stairs on his apartments outside stairs. His mother went to pick him up and saw the damage and took him to the hospital. It was very clear that the stair story was a lie. You could tell he had been punched with a closed fist. The police were called and CPS came to the hospital. The pictures of my little nephew were horrendous. Just sickening! During his hospital stay, CPS and the police were asking my nephew what really happened and he told them. (they also got it on video for evidence). What happened was that my nephew was so hungry that he was sucking on his bed sheets. My brother saw this and it infuriated him. My brother started beating him in the face and his head was bouncing off the wall. Like a punching bag.)
The mother of my nephew then filed for a restraining order and it took MONTHS! During those months, we were all scared to death that my brother was going to do something to my nephew or ask for him for the weekend. (there should be something in place for when you call CPS and for when the actually put the restraining order in place! What a scary time!!)
So for the summer, my nephew came to spend it with us. (myself and my parents. So now my nephew was with his aunt and his grandparents)
Now, his mother is very loving and sweet. The only thing though, is that her motherly instincts are null. She has the right intentions, but she just can't do it. And she even says this. She can't do the things a normal mother could do.
During the summer while he was staying with us, slowly but surely, he would tell us things about growing up with his father. Things like, " my daddy gave me Ramen Noodles dry. But I liked it that way! ". I then said, "you're telling me he gave them to you without cooking them? " he said yes. My brother could not even boil water for 3 freaking minutes to feed his hungry son. I told him, "baby, you don't ever have to worry about being hungry or dry ramen noodles. We will always cook for you!" He proceeded by giving me a hug. He knew what his daddy did was wrong, but he still wanted to love him and defend him. Which I understand, but it's still wrong.
In the middle if the summer, we emailed his mother and told her that if she needed it, we would have no problem taking care if him full time and raising him. She replied that it was OK and thank you.
School time started and he went back home with his mom. He was now in 2nd grade and not doing well and being made fun of. On Friday's we would drive to their city (an hour away south) and pick him for him to spend the weekends with us. After about 3 weeks of doing this, the mother got ahold of us and asked us if he could stay with us full time and go to school up here. We were beyond thrilled. Finally, our wishes had come true. We knew if he was with his, he would be happier and better taken care of. My nephew was so happy that he was coming to live with us. As far as I know, my brother has no idea he lives with us, an hour away from where he and the mother live. The restraining order FINALLY went through.
He has started his new school and we do homework everyday after school and he has his schedule that we stick to so he knows what is happening next. There are NO surprises. With him staying with us in the summer and him living with us now, we have seen SO much stuff that he has not been taught by either his parents or his last school. He's 8 years old and doesn't know how to tie his shoes, how to write, how to put on clothes properly, ride a bike, etc. His dad was too busy playing video games.
Although my nephew has a lot to catch up on, academicly, mentally and home -training wise, I am prepared to do this. He has achieved so much since he's been here and has advanced so much more here than he would have if he would have stayed with his mom and stayed at his old school.
I never thought I would have this much of a motherly instinct at 23 years old. I have to say, I an very proud of myself. Its ironic because my brother was never abused growing up and never did drugs and was treated well growing up and had a great childhood. Whereas from the time I was 20-22, I was riding freight trains and a heroin addict. I'm currently in methadone and have been clean for a little over a year. Who would have thought someone like ME could be a better parent to my nephew than his own biological parents. How I am today, you could never tell I was a drug addict. You would think my brother was. But anyway, that's my story. I'm new to here, so hopefully I can find some friends on here!
-savannah <3