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Dear Savvy Auntie,

I have 7 nieces and nephews. Three of them are my brother’s kids and live about 20 minutes from my apartment, so I see them quite frequently. My sister and her four kids live about 500 miles from me and I see them around twice a year. I feel guilty about spending more time with one set of nieces and nephews and neglecting the others. My sister hasn’t said anything to me, but I just feel badly. I can admit that I love my brother’s kids more because I see them all the time and know them better. Yuck! I hate myself for saying that. But it’s true. What can I do to stop the guilt?!

Guilty Auntie

Dear Guilty Auntie,

Do not feel guilty!!! You should only feel guilty when you do something wrong and then you should apologize. So, maybe you feel badly. It seems only natural that you would have deeper feelings for the kids you see more often. However, seeing is not the only way to be in touch. You can write, send photos, email, call, text, IM and maybe with more contact there will be more connection. A great gift is either a monthly subscription to a kid’s magazine (National Geographic for Kids is good for a wide range of ages) or a present of monthly books that you choose in advance. Many local bookstores are happy to help with that. I just know your feelings and connections will grow.
 
Nearer Than You Think,
Natalie Robinson Garfield
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