I'm a mom with a special needs child. Last week I wore two different colored shoes -- one gold, one silver -- to teach a college class.  Fashionable?  Not really.  Fully of anxiety -- absolutely.

Today, I left my apartment and forgot my cell phone.  I have never done that before.  I couldn't return home when I realized I left it t because I was rushing to take my Kid with Special Needs (KWSN) to school, which is now no ordinary task.

Recently, I received an unexpected notice from the Office of Pupil Transportation who declared they were changing my KWSN's bus. This filled me with anxiety because, like many special needs kids, my child thrives on sameness and routines.  He has been taking the same bus for five years with the same kids.  So, now I have a KWSN who refuses to get on the new bus.  Yes, refuses.  I know this may seem ridiculous to some.  How can a 10 year old boss around a parent?  Well, my answer to that is: how do i physically put a 105 lb kid on a bus as he having a tantrum, screaming and crying that he wants his old bus back?

How to Help

Raising a child with special needs, learning differences, or a kid who is just quirky, presents a myriad of new challenges on a daily basis.  How can you remain in control when inside you feel so out of control?  And what can Auntie do to help the parent - a sister or brother, a sister- or brother-in-law, a cousin or best friend?

Maybe I'm dating myself, but there was a commercial on television long ago which preached to the viewer: "Calgon, take me away."  Although it's a bath product, one can't help echo the sentiment of wanting and needing to feel soothed in these challenging times.

Here's what I wish.  I wish every once in a while a friend or a family member would spontaneously call me up and say: "How was your week with the KWSN?  Can I help you with anything?"  Aunties,  families with KWSN need help. They need time to do nothing or need to just take a walk.  This fall, during this invigorating time of renewal as the leaves change colors and the weather turns, can you offer a little time to the PRSNK? (Parent Raising a Special Needs Kid)

Here are 5 Tips to Help A Special Needs Mom and Dad:

1. Offer to babysit one night a week, or as often as you can
2. Visit the family after school and offer to do some homework with the KWSN
3. Bring over dinner for the family once a month
4. Meet your PWSNK for a drink - coffee or alcohol, your choice, so they can have some good old -fashioned adult conversation time.
5. Bring over some Calgon (or other yummy spa product) and lock the PWSNK in the bathroom.

It's her time now.