By Wendy Lynne, www.mentaltoughnesstrainer.com

Wendy Lynne is the Director of Mental Toughness Academy. The Academy’s online Mental Toughness Training helps kids build confidence, focus, determination and the ability to bounce back from adversity – what we call Mental Toughness. Her passion is helping kids, their parents and coaches transform their thinking so they lead happier, healthier and more successful lives. Go here to get a free ebook “The 10 Commandments To Being A Great Sports Parent” and a free training for youth athletes “How To Master the Pressure.”

We regularly hear from youth athletes how devastating their last loss or choke was. It can seem like the end of the world. What young athletes are missing is…

Perspective

This is where you as an aunt can be a huge help.

If you see your niece or nephew having a total meltdown after practice and complaining that their coach hates them and treats them unfairly, ask them, “How do you know this is true?” Then hear them out.

You might hear things like the coach was making them do more pushups than any other person or they have to sit on the bench when everyone on the team knows they are the best player.

Surprise them by saying very calmly, “Wow, that’s so great!”

You will see a puzzled look on their face, because they will not expect your response. They may even get a little peeved.

And then say, “Let me tell you a little story about a farmer…”

There once was a farmer whose only horse broke out of the corral and ran away. The farmer’s neighbors, upon hearing of the runaway horse said to the farmer, "Oh what bad luck!" The farmer just replied, "We’ll see."

About a week later, the horse returned, bringing with it a whole herd of wild horses, which the farmer and his son quickly corralled. The neighbors, hearing of the farmer’s new luck getting a herd of horses said, "Oh what good luck!" The farmer just replied, "We’ll see."

Later that day, the farmer's son's leg was badly broken when he was thrown from one of the wild horses he was trying to break. A few days later the broken leg became infected and the son became delirious with fever. The neighbors, all-hearing of the incident, came to see the son. As they stood there, the neighbors said, "Oh what bad luck!" The farmer replied, "We’ll see."

A war broke out and the country was in need of soldiers. The military sent one of its captains to the village to conscript young men to fight in the war. When the captain came to take the farmer's son he found a young man with a broken leg who was delirious with fever. Knowing there was no way the son could fight, the captain left him there. A few days later, the son's fever broke and a few months later, his leg healed. By then the war had ended and the son guided the family farm to prosperity.

What the farmer teaches us...

This story beautifully illustrates perspective and how to help your niece or nephew reframe the meaning of anything.

Explain the moral of the story is that you never know how things will turn out. You just have to trust and expect the best. Share examples from your own life of how something you thought was really unfair or tough turned out for the best.

Photo: imagerymajestic
Published: June 4, 2013