One of the things I often forget is that the events and experiences in my life might be mundane to me, but they’re great discussion points for my nieces and nephews. Also, the work that I do daily might not be so exciting to me (although it really is), but for someone who doesn’t follow me around regularly, it’s a novel thing to hear about an adult’s work.

I was thinking about this—and trying to put this into context—when I was asked by a friend to come judge a birthday-party cooking competition for a group of 13- and 14-year-olds. That’s right in the age range of a few of my nephews and nieces, so I jumped at the chance. Sometimes doing the odd thing makes you more fun...perhaps I should coin the word “FUNCLE.”

So, thinking of my loved ones, I went and judged the event. The night was set up so that 11 young girls would split into teams of three and four and then cook an appetizer, a meal, and a dessert. The creations required the use of some ingredients and some of the ingredients were left up to the participants. The birthday girl’s parents and I were the three judges. (They needed three so any ties could be broken.)

What I learned from the experience was three-fold. It touched on stuff that every uncle should realize when interacting with kids...especially their nephews and nieces. It also showed me some lessons I wouldn’t have otherwise thought of. Ultimately, I had a great time and got to eat a variety of food—both good and bad.

But here are the lessons...

1. You will make a positive impression on your nieces and nephews if you genuinely like what you’re doing.
To that end, my role as food judge mirrors my role as host of the NomX3 food show with Mike Langford. I love different types of food and I’m curious about how they’re crafted, cooked, and presented. That came through in a great way with the kids at the birthday party. I know I’m going to share my food show with my nephews and nieces the next time I see them. And I’m going to ask them what they like to eat and/or cook.

2. Start with a clean slate when allowing youngsters to prepare something for you.
Whether it’s food or a crayon drawing or a fort or a snowman, if you can hold back any expectations about the outcome, you’ll often be pleasantly surprised. I thought of this during the girls’ cooking session. While I was a little worried that everything might have sprinkles on it or be heavy into Craisins or fruit leather, I held back and tried to clear my mind.

The result was a fun evening where the food was actually good—for the most part—and there was no way I was going to be disappointed if I didn’t have a preconception going into the event. Do the same with your family and you’ll always be genuinely surprised—in a good way.

3. Tell the truth about your experiences.
You don’t have to be hyper-critical, but don’t sugarcoat all your comments to your nephews and nieces. One caveat is that depending on age, some kids are better at hearing the truth than others.

I found that this group of young girls was really excited to hear what a professional eater (me) thought of their creations. I didn’t slam anyone for making mistakes, but if I wasn’t sure that carrots belonged with pudding, I said so. Your family will feel the same way, as the best uncle is the one who has a special connection with his nephews and nieces.

I think the three pointers I gathered from the other night make a perfect recipe for uncling success.

Published: April 16, 2013