By Joe Jurek

Joe Jurek is the self-published author of the new children’s book, The Don’t Make Books About Uncles. He’s a copywriter in the Chicagoland area, and an uncle...obviously.

“They don’t make stuff about uncles.” This is a realization every uncle in the history of mankind has come to—and a realization had by any aunt who has ever done any shopping on behalf of an uncle.

It is a fact. The sky is blue. Ice is cold. And when you go to Target looking to buy something with the word “UNCLE” on it, they don’t have it. Do they have the “My Auntie Loves Me” onesie? Oh, yeah, they have that. They have two different kinds of those probably.

It’s like they’re taunting us. We few, we happy few, we band of brothers.

I personally experienced this injustice after my brother called me and gave me the big news: “You’re going to be an uncle, Joe.” After the news sunk in, the first thing I could think to do was go to the bookstore. I wanted to buy an uncle book for this new little person who would be coming into the world in nine months.

SPOILER ALERT: There were no uncle books. Not in the big bookstores. Not in the little bookstores. Not in online bookstores. Not even in libraries. At least not any books suitable for children. Don’t get me wrong, Uncle Tom’s Cabin is an amazing novel...just not before bedtime.

So I took it upon myself to stand up for uncles everywhere. I self-published They Don’t Make Books About Uncles—the story of an uncle who takes his niece and nephew to the bookstore only to discover there are no uncle books. (Sound familiar?) He takes them on a journey inside their favorite stories, where they soon learn that anything they can imagine, their uncle will do for them.

Still... They don’t make other stuff about uncles. This book is one small step. What about the onesies, the bibs, the shirts, the socks, the pillows, the made-for-television specials? Where’s the giant leap for uncle-kind?

We can hope that articles like this reach the eyes of some children’s merchandise manufacturer, and that we soon see uncle onesies in their rightful place next to aunt onesies at your favorite big-box store. In the meantime, your best bet for finding uncle gear is online. T-shirt websites like www.cafepress.com, www.psychobabyonline.com, www.zazzle.com, etc. seem to be the only places that give you options. You can choose from the uncle stuff these sites have in stock or create your own personalized stuff, like I did here with original artwork from my book: http://www.cafepress.com/dd/73779526.

And don’t even get me started about national days. We have Mother’s Day, of course. Father’s Day? Goes without saying. July 28 is Auntie’s Day(R). And Uncle’s Day is...

Wait for it...

Yeah, that’s right. There is no Uncle’s Day. (Single tear.) I just don’t get it! Is it something we said? Do we have bad breath? Are we close-talkers?

There has to be some reason they’re not making stuff about us. But until we figure out what that reason is, we uncles will have to keep soldiering on... Being awesome... Buying things for our nieces and nephews out of the goodness of our hearts... Making the world a better place.

You can buy his book here, or at any major online bookstore. And you can like this page if you think there should be an Uncle’s Day, https://www.facebook.com/UnclesDay. Follow Uncle Joe on Twitter @TDMBAUncles or here, https://www.facebook.com/theydontmakebooksaboutuncles.

Photo: imagerymajestic
Published: June 12, 2013