By Jenni Haswell

I'm 29 years old and this Christmas will be my very first Christmas without my family. No matter where I have lived, I have always made it a priority to go home. But this year, I don't have that as an option. It makes me sad, but it also has caused me to reminisce on past Christmases. You see, we don't have many traditions in my family, but man oh man, we sure do at Christmas! I could tell you stories upon stories of picking out the tree, decorating the tree, the cookies and fudge mom must make every year, and how we exchange gifts and even the game we play on Christmas Eve (including the Christmas Eve gift and new pajamas every year). It's the same every year, and I wouldn't change a thing about it!

But let me tell you about one Christmas that always comes to mind. I have one aunt that is a PANK (don't tell anyone, but she's my favorite). Every Christmas she got us the coolest gifts. I still don't know how she managed to do it. She lived far away and we saw her once every two years if we were lucky. But somehow she tapped into us in a way no one else ever did. She would get us things that were so unique and so "us." She nailed it on the head every single year and we loved opening her gifts. If you asked my mom, she would tell you this aunt went overboard one year. If you ask me? Well, I'll get to that.

One Christmas, we had presents that went out about 4 feet from the wall and were about 12 feet long. They were stacked on top of each other, they were blocking the path behind chairs, and they pretty much swallowed about a quarter of our living room. These weren't all from my aunt. My mom, in her own opinion, went a little overboard that year, too. But my aunt had really outdone herself that year. Do I remember what I got? Not really. I think that was the year I got a teapot in the shape of a London telephone booth from my aunt. I think I also got a rotating lamp. But I digress.

It was that year that my mom realized they were taking Christmas presents a little too far and she wanted to put a stop to it before things got out of hand in the future. So my mom spoke to my aunt and my mom changed how she bought presents.

You see, in my family, we don't believe Christmas is about the gifts. We believe Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Jesus. So my mom came up with what I believe to be a brilliant plan. Jesus only got three gifts, and now, so do we. Jesus received gold, frankincense, and myrrh. We receive something from three categories: garment, fun, and mind.

What did my aunt choose to do for her gifts? Ever since that Christmas, the money she would have spent on all of us now is given to a charity under our name. I love that she does that! Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE just one more over the top Christmas with really awesome gifts from her...but I know that's not what Christmas is about and I don't want my niece and nephew thinking that Christmas is all about the gifts. I love spoiling them and will always buy them gifts, but I'm glad there's an aunt in our lives who reminds us to help others during the holidays. I also hope that I live my life in such a way throughout the rest of the year that it points them toward selfless living.

Quick tips for Aunties this holiday season or any time during the year:

-If your nieces or nephews are old enough, encourage them to offer an evening of babysitting for free so that parents can do some holiday shopping of their own. If it's not the holiday season, then the parents can simply have a date night.

-Look into how you can volunteer at a local animal shelter. All you have to do is call them and ask how you can help. They're always looking for volunteers to help clean up after the animals or even play with them. Make sure you know the rules of volunteering. Some shelters have an age requirement even if there is an adult accompanying them. Who wouldn't love some quality time with their aunt and playful puppies or kittens?

-Caroling is another great way to help out. Senior citizen homes always welcome carolers to come in and entertain their residents. Make sure you call ahead before you go though.

-Not a singer? That's okay. Take your nieces and nephews to a senior citizen home to just sit and play games or listen to the residents’ stories. A lot of time the elderly are left alone during the holidays, so please don't forget about them. Again, make sure you call to see when the best time to come would be.

-Serving a meal at a local homeless shelter is a great way to serve others. It can be a very humbling experience to not only serve the meal, but also sit down with them and hear their stories.

-Are your nieces and nephews in school? Talk to them about their classmates. Is there a kid whose family can't afford Christmas? Have they noticed a kid who needs a new pair of shoes, clothes, or a backpack? Now ask them for ideas on how they think they could help.

-Angel Tree. If you have these in your community, they're a great way of helping others. This is something you can do together. Let them pick out a name and then go shopping together. There are locations around the country funded by the Salvation Army. Want to know where the nearest location to you is? Call your local Salvation Army and ask. I'm sure they'll be happy to point you in the right direction.

-Another idea along the lines of Angel Tree, is Christmas shoeboxes through Operation Christmas Child (http://www.samaritanspurse.org/what-we-do/operation-christmas-child). The National Collection Week is already over for 2013, but this is definitely something to keep in mind for next year. I've never done these with my niece or nephew, but I have done them with girls I mentored in youth ministry. We would go to the dollar store and fill up shoeboxes to send overseas. It was a great time for them to learn about giving to others and provided me with some awesome quality time being able to mentor them.

-Let's not forget about the military. Have nieces and nephews write letters to our military men and women. Not old enough to write? That's okay! Have them draw a picture. This will give you quality time with them, and it encourages them to remember those people who are fighting for our freedom. Two different websites that I found for this were A Million Thanks (http://www.amillionthanks.org/) and Operation Gratitude (http://www.operationgratitude.com/get-involved/write-letters/).

-Last tip and possibly the most important: If you want nieces and nephews to live selflessly and be giving, then you need to be an example of that. Remember that throughout the year there are people who need help, who are alone, and sometimes even forgotten. Look for ways to help others every day of the year and for ways to not only encourage the kids in your life but to include them as well. Maybe a fun challenge to do with them as a New Year’s Resolution is for all of you to adopt "One Act of Kindness a Day." Tell them they are to do one act of kindness every day and report to you what they've done. But don't forget, you need to do it, too! It will be great accountability for everyone involved and will also bring you closer together as you share your experiences and ideas for future acts.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Jenni currently lives in Battle Creek, Michigan. She is an Auntie By Relation to 1 niece and 1 nephew, an Auntie By Choice to 4 nieces, 2 nephews, 2 on the way next year and many more to come! She has a degree in Music Ministry, was a missionary for 3 years, and serves at her local church. When she's not working, she is either spending time with the kids in her life (whether in person, Facebook, or texting) or enjoying some down time and watching Doctor Who.

Photo: Ranken Jordan via photopin cc
Published: December 17, 2013