By Jessica Broomfield

October 25, 2019

We all know it has always “taken a village” to raise children toward becoming well-informed, compassionate, self-sufficient adults who are productive citizens. In today’s rocket-paced world, a strange contradictory stalemate exists: children are coddled in inertia and immaturity;  simultaneously as they grow, they are expected to self-regulate their emotions in an overwhelming and emotionally charged society that expects instant gratification. Because of this chaotic existence, children thrive best when they have at least one adult (who isn’t their parent/guardian) be available to them—for a laugh, for a chat, and yes, even for a hug.

Teachers see another side of children that their parents often don’t. Primarily seeing them outside the home and among their peers, teachers see the “public world” student or child. Furthermore, just like lunch at school might be the only hot meal a student has access to, the “teacher-aunt” may be the only consistent adult available to enhance a child’s growth into the adult world. Teachers foster safe environments and model accountable behavior. Modeling those behaviors consistently and being that “active presence” often develops into trusting relationships—just like with aunts. 

I am lucky to be both an aunt to my sixteen-year-old niece and a teacher to many tweens. I teach English Language Arts at a private school in southern New Jersey. We are lucky to have a staff of 30 and a school of slightly over 100 students. I learn much about (and from) my students through their writing and presentations.

In the middle school, the faculty is fortunate to teach the same students for three years. This affords teachers, students, and families the opportunity to cultivate relationships that extend beyond the classroom—a pleasant and meaningful benefit for all involved. Students stop by my room throughout the day and after school; I so enjoy talking with them!

Whether it’s for help on an assignment that turns into a discussion about a current event or a conversation about a movie/tv show that turns into a question about a social issue, I am grateful they feel comfortable coming to me. I am especially glad when I am partnering with parents to provide an additional adult perspective to help their children find their own inner voices and purposes characterized by acting with integrity.

I enjoy sparring with my students about the pronunciation of the word “aunt:"

“I am not an insect!” I proudly proclaim when they refer to their aunts as “ants.”

“Pronouncing it ANT, doesn’t make you less important!” they retort with a laugh.

Whether your dialect suggests “ant” or “aUnt,” as a teacher, we often serve in the same role: an active listener, a confidante, a guiding adult voice who knows the student in an alternative way to their parents.

I have been thrilled over the years to develop aunt-like relationships with students—still keeping in touch years after teaching them and even being considered family by several. One of my former students sent me this message on Twitter shortly before he left for college:

“Hey, I’m getting ready to go to college, and I just want to say that I wouldn’t be the person I am today without your help and guidance. I’ll always be thankful for how much you fought for me and helped me succeed during Middle School. You’re one of the reasons why I want to be a teacher because you showed me how much of a positive impact teachers can make on students.”  - Nick F.

Reading such a message made my heart burst—what a gift it is to know that the joy I experience from participating in the “teacher-aunt” relationship is also meaningful and beneficial to the people who enter my classroom as students and exit to be part of my circle-of-extended family: nieces and nephews!

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Photo: monkeybusinessimages