Be a Role Model by Standing Back
Written By Savvy Auntie Staff Writers
By Katelyn Fry
One of our most important jobs is being a positive role model for our nieces and nephews. Children, teens and young adults pattern their behavior after the grownups they love and admire most. And, in an article published earlier this month in PsychologyToday.com, developmental psychologist Marilyn Price-Mitchell argues there’s one behavior for kids to model that supersedes all others, and it involves giving back.
In her article “The Secret to Youth Morality,” Price-Mitchell explains the power of adult influence on children and adolescents and suggests taking a more back-seat approach when guiding them, particularly when it comes to giving back to society. After conducting interviews with several young people, she found that adolescents succeeded the most when adults allowed them majority of the control and responsibility. Price-Mitchell claims that this kind of direction is critical to young adult moral development.
As a prime example, Price-Mitchell offers us 20-year-old college student Scott, who describes himself as having been a typically shy teen with no real desire to get involved in his Durham, North Carolina community. But that changed in the ninth grade when Scott was drawn to an anti-smoking organization that was geared toward, and organized by, youth. “It wasn’t the typical kind of menial work where adults tell you what to do,” Price-Mitchell explains in her article. Scott attributes his greater interest to the adult leader of the campaign, Bonnie. He told Price-Mitchell that “she gave us guidance, but left the control to us. That’s what works when you’re trying to motivate youth. You’ve got to make them feel like they’ve got some type of role and some importance.”
Low-and-behold, previously shy, indifferent Scott went on to become leader of this anti-smoking campaign, raising $100,000 for the cause. And he didn’t stop there. Scott now speaks to thousands of young people across the country about the harsh reality of smoking. And it all started with the help of an adult figure who simply laid the framework and let him do the rest.
With the holidays approaching, set some time aside to do exactly that with your niece or nephew – the earlier you start, the better. If you feel like you'd like to plant the seed of working on a "giving back" project together, do so, but leave many of the decisions up to them. Let them choose a project - and if it involves going to a location, let them get acclimated on their own. Give as little instruction as possible and watch their dedication to giving back - and their leadership skills - develop before your eyes.
Photo: weyo
Published: November 22, 2016