Mom and Godmoms
My daughter is 11. When she was a year and a half, I had her baptized. We're Catholic, so she had to have one Catholic godparent. I chose one
of my best friends and lined up my brother as her godfather.
Well,
our other best friend got her feelings hurt that she wasn't chosen as
my daughter's godmother, so I conferred with my priest and he said she
could have more than one godmother. She ended up having eight - my
girlfriends have been like sisters to me, so I couldn't leave any of
them out.
Fast-forward to today - and I want to fire them all. I
don’t think any of them are good at the job. And I know it's not a
"job," but I was hoping for a little more effort.
A couple of weeks
ago, for example, I was talking with one of the godmothers and she asked for our
address because she wanted to send my daughter a gift card for her
birthday. I suggested instead that when we come to her area that she
take her goddaughter shopping instead of sending a gift card. I
went on to say that my daughter resents all her godmothers because they
don't call or take the time to see how she is doing. For her birthday,
one godmother texted me on my phone to wish her a happy birthday, and a
couple others wished her a happy birthday via my Facebook profile. Only
one wished her a happy birthday on my daughter's own Facebook profile.
In
the conversation with this particular godmother, she said she didn't
really know what was expected and that if I told her, she would try her
best to do better. This has been a sore issue with me and I am tired of
griping about it.
Is there a guideline on what a
godmother is supposed to do?
[answer]
I love your creative
solution of making eight women your daughter's godmothers. However, your
friends and cousin may not have taken it seriously since it was so
unique. So, why not have a conversation with each one and ask them what
they see as their role in your daughter's life now and in the future?
The objective “rules” no longer are in effect, so why not use your
creativity to formulate new and individualized roles?
Be careful
- if a friend offers a token gift, accept it graciously and teach your
daughter to do the same, or she may imitate your resentful attitude.
Since it is a spiritual and religious relationship, I suggest you allow
it to develop from each person.
On another note, it is my
understanding that Facebook has a rule that you must be thirteen years
old to join; I think it is a good guideline as children may be unaware
of the dangers.
Best of luck,
Natalie Robinson Garfield
TheSenseConnection.wordpress.com
Photo: PT Images
Published: May 12, 2017