By Kim Stagliano, www.ageofautism.com

Kim Stagliano is author of All I Can Handle I'm No Mother Teresa and House of Cards (both available on Amazon), she is Managing Editor of www.AgeofAutism.com and writes for www.huffingtonpost.com/KimStagliano. She lives with her husband Mark and their three daughters Mia, Gianna, and Bella in Fairfield County, CT. You can follow her at Twitter and on Facebook.

At a current reported rate of 1 in 50 school children, every day is Autism Awareness Day for teachers, staff, parents, friends and family—including aunts and uncles alike. April is Autism Awareness month, but I'd like to tell you how to burst out of mere awareness and into action. As a mom to three beautiful daughters (18, 16, and 12) with autism, I am passionate about helping people outside of the autism community learn what they (you, my friends) can do to help someone whose child has the diagnosis.

If you looked out your kitchen window and saw that your neighbor's house was on fire and said, "Oh, that's a shame. I think I'll put a ‘stop house fires’ magnet on my car and a red light bulb in my lamp post," what would that do to help your neighbor? That's my point. You'd call 911 to let the professionals save the house. And once the smoke had cleared, you'd start a chain reaction of care launching a meal train, offering shelter, replacing stuffed animals for the children—I'm sure you can think a thousand meaningful ways to help your neighbor, some small, some large.

That's action, which is far more important than passive awareness. Here's a list of ideas you can consider that most any autism mom (or dad, let's not forget them) would appreciate.

1. Offer to take care of the kids while we’re out.
No matter what the child's behavior, we autism moms will trust you to keep our kids alive long enough for us to slip out to a doctor's appointment, a manicure, or a quiet cup of coffee all by ourselves.

2. An overnight for us parents is like God himself showing up at the door.
If you can take the child for a night in your home (or stay in our home if we can afford a hotel), we will send the paperwork to the Vatican to canonize you for sainthood.
 
3. Siblings often bear the brunt of the autism at home—and need extra TLC.
Take your typical niece or nephew out for an ice cream cone, or go to her sporting events as often as you can, invite him for a sleepover at your house.
 
4. Autism is expensive.
If you can swing it, offer to help pay for a summer camp or a therapy. Insurance covers very little for autism.

5. Many people with autism need expensive, lifelong care.
Talk to the mom and mad about special needs trust planning. Talk to other family members on their behalf, especially grandparents. It's awkward for the child's parents to say, "Hey, are you going to leave my kids any money?" And a special needs trust is necessary to protect those funds once a child is 18.

6. Listen when we complain or when we feel so stressed out we need to vent.
And when you do, please don't compare what may be going on with your typical child with our autism version. For instance, (this is from a real conversation I had):
"I'm so tired, and I  have to take the girls to speech therapy."

"Oh, I know what you mean, I have to take 'Johnny' to his calculus tutor, he's only getting a B in his class and needs an A for college."

I hope these ideas encourage you to think of your own ways to help your a family member or friend whose child might be on the spectrum, whether a 5-year-old or a 25-year-old. Share your ideas in the comments and let me know if you have any questions about how you can make any day of the year an autism action day. Thank you.

Published: April 23, 2013