I know it’s such a cliché, but kids really do grow up so fast. It seems like only yesterday my niece and nephew were swaddled in hospital blankets, staring up at me in their first few hours of life. When they were that small, I was scared to hold them because when I did, it felt like their heads were about to roll off. Besides, the whole idea of a “soft spot” just scares the wits out of me.

Now, my nephew Aidan, who is just nine months old, is standing up in his crib and crawling everywhere when just a few weeks ago he was struggling to get up on his hands and knees. My niece Caroline climbs up the couch like it’s Mount Kilimanjaro and is tall enough to climb out of her crib. It feels like it was only yesterday that she took her first shaky steps. Almost every week I get photos of the kids doing or trying something new and mastering a new trick. From solid foods to first words, time just keeps whizzing by.

Aidan and Caroline keep getting bigger, smarter and cuter but I feel exactly the same way I did when they born. I guess when you are so small, even the most minor accomplishment is a big deal. You can actually see kids learning as they move, play and talk. When you’re an adult, people don’t huddle around you and applause when you learn something new and the little lessons seem less important.

The truth is I’m growing up too. As they navigate their childhood, I’m getting a grasp on what it’s like to be an adult, an aunt and a role model. I’m still wrapping my head around the idea that these kids will learn from what I say and do. When did I become someone to look up to? I try to be on my best behavior (most of the time) around them but part of me still wants to be their playmate and friend rather than an authority figure.

My niece and nephew have inspired me to challenge myself and test my own boundaries as an adult. I want to learn and experience more of life and relationships without fear of failing. Aidan and Caroline have showed me that the only way to manage my own milestones is by taking a risk, even if it means bumping your head a few times before you get it right.