Last week, my internet connection in my apartment went on the fritz. I couldn’t log on and since I needed to do research for a story I was writing, I hiked to the public library. I settled in and started working only to be interrupted several times by a bunch of tweens and teens talking loudly and playing music. I guess they didn’t grow up with the same stern librarians that I did—they could give anyone a good “Shhhhh!” Then a little girl, who couldn’t have been older than four, pulled up a chair right next to me, I mean right next to me, and started to stare at me and my computer. She might as well have been sitting on my lap. I couldn’t help but be a little annoyed.

But when I looked down at her curious eyes, I felt a twinge of guilt. She was so little and didn’t know any better, could I really be THAT annoyed with someone so young? And if it was my niece or nephew who had sat next to me, wouldn’t I have scooped them into my lap and showed them what I was doing?

I wasn’t so sure of the answer. There have been times I’ve been around my niece and nephew that I’ve wanted to scream. Just a few weeks ago, I was playing with little Caroline and she accidentally scratched me and gave me a bloody nose. Did it hurt? Yes. Was I kind of annoyed? Yes. But I knew it wasn’t her fault. She’s two and it was a complete accident. The same thing happened with my nephew, Aidan. He has the strength of an ox, so when he gets his little hand curled around my hair and pulls, it’s really painful!

Am I “Mean Auntie Margaret?"

I’ve gotten so frustrated (or hurt!), that I’ve raised my voice a time or two but I immediately feel guilty afterward. Now that my niece is old enough to start learning the difference between right and wrong, she recognizes when adults get upset, so she gets confused and sad. It breaks my heart and I usually end up giving in and giving her a hug. After all, I don’t want to be known as “Mean Auntie Margaret.”

Anytime I get annoyed around the kids I end up feeling really, really, I mean really, bad about it. How can they know any better? They are so small and they are just learning. What do they know? How can you be annoyed at a baby? It feels like something is wrong with me and I’m a bad person. But after many chats with my sisters and my friends, I realized I wasn’t alone. And like every other family member, they will get on my nerves from time to time. It doesn’t mean I don’t love them.

I thought of all the arguments I got into with my family over the years (and I hope they all take this as a public apology for my teen years!) and how no matter what, we have always loved each other. I’m sure I wasn’t always easy to be around when I was a baby, but my family, including my aunts, uncles and cousins, were always there with support and love. The same way I will always love Aidan and Caroline, no matter how times they pull my hair or give me a bloody nose.

From now on, every time I’m ashamed for feeling impatient or irritable, I will remember there are a hundred more memories fill of laughs, kisses and hugs. Those are the moments I will cherish.

How do you handle those less-than-precious moments with your niece and nephew?