The aftermath is always eerily quiet. The evidence is everywhere. Pillows are strewn about, balled up candy wrappers hide in the corners, and the dining table is now an abandoned fort. The nieces and nephews have gone home.
 
For an Auntie without kids, this is the moment you feel like your home has been invaded. Technically, it has. 

Homes without children living in them have breakable stuff, white furniture, and things with sharp edges. It’s the kind of place where parents are nervous, and aunts are anxious. For those of us in apartments, there’s the added element of neighbors wondering if someone is moving furniture upstairs.

Nothing makes an Auntie feel inadequate than when the kids come over. The first time my sister brought my oldest niece to my apartment as a baby, I received explicit instructions to vacuum and put things up high since Erica was pulling herself up now.

As a dutiful Auntie, I vacuumed the entire place and moved fragile and breakable do-dads higher up on the shelf. I was feeling pretty good until my sister came in. “I thought you said you vacuumed,” she declared. I had to hold the baby while she vacuumed again and moved things even higher. I was pretty sure the baby didn’t have a six-foot jump shot, but I couldn’t help but feel like a first-time failure.

Fortunately by the time my sister had her second child, she wasn’t so manic about cleanliness. I however had a nephew who liked to spill Kool-Aid on my white dining chair. During one visit, I blotted the chair with cleaner, and my then 3-year-old nephew piped up, “You’re a good cleaner, Aunt Janice.” Thanks, honey. With nieces and nephews, you get a lot of practice.

As a beginning aunt, I lived in Galveston, where Mardi Gras is celebrated. Because of that, I had a bowl of festively-colored Mardi Gras beads. Turns out beads are cheap entertainment for kids. My oldest niece and nephew loved playing with them when they young. They wore them, linked them into long chains, and tossed them about. After they left, I would find beads stuffed in the couch cushions or underneath furniture.  When I moved, I found even more.

Recently, my three godchildren stayed with me while their parents were at a medical appointment. Since it was around Easter, I gave them each a festive Easter bag with candy. After they left, I found candy wrappers in all sorts of nooks and crannies and almonds with the chocolate sucked off. I didn’t know one of them didn’t like nuts with his chocolate.

For newbie Aunties, don’t fret. Here’s a little Auntie Survival Guide to help you make the best Auntie ever with your littles.

Be armed with supplies. Buy washable markers, crayons, paper, coloring books, and a couple of movies on demand or on DVD.

Know where the Nickelodeon and Disney channels are on your cable, and see what shows are available on demand or web service.  If you’re alone with the kids and need to take a shower, Spongebob can give you that time.

Have blankets for forts. Every kid loves a fort. Move the pretty candlesticks and tablecloth off the table and spread the blankets over the table and chairs. Toss pillows underneath, and a flashlight or a lamp is a welcome touch. Just know that the inquisitive nephew will take the flashlight apart to see how it works, but don’t fret. He can put it right back together.

Have kid-friendly food. When the nieces and nephews come, I stock up on whole milk instead of my usual skim milk, kid cereal (mine love Lucky Charms ), bananas, baby carrots, Mac and cheese, chicken tenders, and spaghetti. For my little lactose-intolerant niece, I make sure to have her special “princess” milk as we call it. If you buy soda, make sure it’s caffeine-free. You’ll thank me later.

Carpet cleaner works very well on dining room chairs, couches, and chairs as well as carpets. Stock up.

Nieces usually love to play with make-up. Save up the freebies you get from make-up counters to give them. With nieces, it’s always good to have a supply of nail polish to paint the tootsies.
Buy or check out children’s books to read. The best auntie time is when the kids snuggle up with you as we read a story.

Keep to their regular bedtime. Letting little kids stay up a little later than usual is okay, but it is best if you stick close to their usual bedtimes. You’ll have a better day tomorrow.

If all else fails, sit on the roof and wait for the FEMA helicopters to rescue you. Okay, kidding. In actuality, my home always feels just a little too quiet when my darling nieces and nephews are gone. Then each candy wrapper and Kool-Aid stain becomes a precious reminder.

Republished: July 28, 2014