By Stephanie Licata

Mary Poppins: perhaps the original Savvy Auntie? It is no surprise that as a child I was completely obsessed with this movie. I loved the way Mary balanced fun and discipline, all while gaining trust and respect from Jane and Michael, and eventually the entire family.

I have already been to the theater twice to see “Saving Mr. Banks,” a film about the making of Mary Poppins. It is also a glimpse into the life events of its author, P.L. Travers, which were echoed in the characterization and story of Mary Poppins.

In 2008, while on vacation with several families to Lake Placid, I found myself waking up one morning at 7:00 AM with a gaggle of kids to make pancakes for all of them. Before they erupted into full on play, I instructed them, in kind but serious manner, to be quiet while their parents slept. This was, after all, their parents’ vacation too! Little Nick didn’t feel like eating pancakes, so I made him some extra special oatmeal with cinnamon and sugar (Just a spoonful, you ask?).

Later that day I got the best compliment of all: being called “Mary Poppins.” Since then, the name seems to follow me wherever I go! Perhaps it’s because I always travel with a bag that has everything in it! (see scissors, dry erase marker, power point remote, etc). When I arrive to the houses of my friends with children I often bring small meaningful gifts that I know will bring them joy, but not necessarily spoil them (see the $1 Target section for a Savvy Auntie’s dream come true!).

But as I dig a little deeper, Mary Poppins is simply the perfect mix of love and responsible child rearing. She celebrates with them, but creates healthy boundaries. She is NOT afraid to say no. She is NOT afraid to disappoint the children. She knows life is full of disappointments and people who will not bend to serve you the way a parent would. She prepares them.

The truth: I had a great mom who loved me a lot, perhaps too much at times. When I was 12 she began a battle with cancer, and when I was 16 she graciously lost that fight but not for lack of trying. Mom was quick to try to protect me from a world that came from her deep love. It is however an illusion that “more loving” can protect children from a world that is not the comfort of your mother’s embrace. After over 20 years of moving through spaces of accepting and understanding death, I became Mary Poppins to others because I became her for myself. In my mother’s absence I have learned a great deal about how to face reality, which I could not have learned in the same way without my exact circumstances.

As I sweep into children’s lives, whether they be friends, students, or girls I mentor through various projects, I seek to be a gentle but firm role model that teaches truth through action and words. A Savvy Auntie, to me, is a teacher of love, loving from a detached manner: one who can see clearly. Her happiness is not dependent on the happiness of the children she adores, therefore she can give to them without need, expectation, or ego.

It is no surprise that the friend who gave me the nickname Mary Poppins is one of the greatest parents I know. She is fair and loving, creating rules and boundaries for her kids to help them achieve their goals. She does so in a loving partnership. Her and her husband are a team effort all the way. I admire all parents, but have a soft spot for those that are not trying to constantly bend to the ways of the world. Parenting is a tough job that you don’t always have to do alone. Perhaps that’s why every family needs a little Savvy Auntie in their life - for pancakes and a whole lot more.

Stephanie Licata, ACC is an NYU and ICF professional certified coach. She is currently completing an MA in Social & Organizational Psychology at Columbia University. Along with being a coach for kids and adults, she is a seasoned speaker, a small business consultant, and the Executive Director of Get Smart Mentoring. She is grateful for the many young people who have ignited and inspired her ever-evolving career.

Photo Courtesy of Stephanie Licata
Published: December 31, 2013