By Guest Expert, Pamela Tsigdinos

Pamela Tsigdinos is the author of the award-winning memoir, Silent Sorority.

It didn't take keen skills of observation to see that my niece was exhibiting early signs of puberty. That I only see her one or two weeks out of the year only underscored the change in her appearance. Why the infrequent visits? She lives in Dublin, Ireland, and I live in the San Francisco Bay area.
 
Among the first challenges not long after she and her family arrived for an extended visit was finding the right few minutes alone with my brother-in-law (BIL) to inquire about whether or not anyone had had "the talk" with her. While most would assume that it's the mother who is tasked with the birds and bees conversation, in this case, you'd be wrong. My sister-in-law lost her life to cancer some three+ years ago, leaving my niece the only girl in a household with a father and an older brother.
 
I got right to the point with my BIL when a private opportunity presented itself and wasn't surprised to see him blush, look away and shake his head vigorously, no, in answer to my question.
 
"Would you like me to have the talk with her?" I asked gently.
 
"Oh, would you?" he replied gratefully.
 
And thus, one of the more ironic experiences in my life unfolded. Me, the infertile aunt who knows more about reproductive matters than just about any licensed reproductive endocrinologist, embarked on the unexpected path of finding the appropriate auntie and niece time to delve into a topic that has all but tortured me the past 10+ years -- how babies are made and the related biological functions.
 
With the guys well out of the house and my niece seated to my left on the sofa. I began "the talk" with an age-appropriate book in hand to guide our conversation. There were nervous giggles from her initially, but she quickly immersed herself in the wonders of the human body.
 
"You know, my friends mentioned something about 'ogulation?' " she asked with a serious but quizzical look on her face.
"Ah, yes, ovulation," I corrected her. Let's talk about that.
 
More than an hour later we were ordering up a starter kit to mail to her house for when the appointed hour arrived. She told me, eagerly, that she looked forward to the day when she would call me to let me know about her first period.
 
And so while my own ovulation cycles never resulted in any pregnancies, it was good to know that all of the reproductive knowledge I'd accumulated went to a good cause.

Published: January 12, 2012