Special Needs Expert, Beth Rosenberg, reflects on what she's thankful for on her special needs son's birthday. Here's what Savvy Aunties can learn from her experience....

As the end of summer nears and the excitement and anticipation of fall comes closer, today might be a day of celebration for a kid with special needs.  Today is my special needs kid’s birthday.  Savvy Aunties, maybe you have recently celebrated the birthday, graduation or some other special day in the life of a kid with special needs.  Like all special needs kids, my kid has been through a never-ending journey of therapies, teachers, schools, doctors, medications, perseverative behavior, ruminating thoughts, obsessions and nutritional limits. He has struggled academically, emotionally and still searches for the perfect friend to watch his out-dated and a bit too young dvds with him, play video games or just talk about kid stuff.

But on this day, the day my kid with special needs  was born years ago, there is plenty to be thankful for.  All of his teachers, therapists, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles, cousins, his wonderful sister, babysitters, a great spouse, pets and more have contributed to the amazing, great, funny and sweet kid that I get to call my own.

Their differences are what make them "special."

Aunts - how can you help your niece or nephew with special needs reach a level of happiness, a level of self-identity and confidence?  Those are tall words for any kid to feel and much harder for the special needs kid.   

As my kid walks around holding his sacred dvds which are calls "his guys,” I am reminded that his differences are what makes him unique and yes, special. And, while some of us hate the term "special needs," and equally hate the term "disability," there is no other adequate description because he is not of the typical world.  Gone are my aches of why he was given to me from a little more than ten years ago. Gone are typical expectations of what a child will do upon growing up or becoming fully independent, going to college or getting a job.  How does this happen?  “It is what it is,” a wise family member says. This is not resignation. Rather, it is pure and utter acceptance, a certain peacefulness that comes with knowing that uncertainty and the fear of the unknown can be terrifying.  At the kid-with-special-needs household, there is no more fear. Instead there is adaptation as we try to accept while expecting and wanting more. On a celebration day like today, we rejoice in its rewards.

Acceptance is key

How can you help your niece or nephew with special needs feel it?  Even Harry Potter knows what can happen with the power of love on your side.  Maybe it really is true, maybe never-ending unconditional love is a feeling so powerful that it can heal to a certain degree. Your niece or nephew with special needs maybe full of quirks, challenges, unusual behaviors or the inability to really tell you what he or she wants.  But, if you listen carefully, over time, over spilled ketchup on your carpet, over a tantrum at the movie theatre, over what may seem like impossible schoolwork to help with, etc., your nieces and nephews with special needs will feel it to.

There is a certain peacefulness that comes with knowing that you and others did a lot to help a special needs kid.  There is a roller coaster feel to raising a special needs child, no different than raising a neurotypical kid, but ultimately with more unique daily challenges.  There is always the urgency to do more, be more, explore more, try more.  That's all good.  As the old saying goes, Rome wasn't built in a day.