Halloween - who doesn't love this fun holiday co-opted by all Americans which promises to serve up delicious bags of candy, pumpkin-carving, apple cider and funny - but sometimes scary - individuals in the costume of their wildest dreams?

Umm.  In the spirit of scariness, full disclosure, I'm dreading Halloween this year.  

Behind those molasses and corn-syrup filled candy corn pieces and orange sugary pumpkins, goblins and witches (which are my favorites) is some real fresh and natural worry around the Kid With Special Needs (KWSN) on Halloween.  It's not because the costume isn't ready or because the streets are filled with unexpected masquerades of all shapes, colors and sizes. Basically, it comes down to this: Halloween, a holiday about dressing up and getting candy, is the holiday kids go trick or treating door to door with other kids, buddies, pals, classmates.... With FRIENDS.

Perhaps some of us take friends for granted.  How many friends can you boost on your Facebook profile?  Do you even know them all? Many KWSN have a shortage of friends. And here's the thing: you kind of can't go through life without friends. Sure, you may have family... but that's not the same as friends. You don't pick your family members - and the friends you choose well, well the rewards are great.

You've got to have friends

So, back to Halloween. Sure, little kids may go trick or treating with mom, dad or Savvy Auntie, but once the KWSN enters middle school, which in some schools is considered fifth-grade, do you want your Auntie, no matter how savvy she may be, hanging around you as you ring the doorbell?

So, here's the problem with Halloween for the KWSN.  KWSN often go to schools where their classmates are bused in from every neighborhood and area which can sometimes be more than 40 miles away.  There is no "let's meet at the local diner" for these kids, because the local diner, may not in fact be local at all.

Boo!  Back to the dread.

Let me put on the wizard hat to figure this one out... Wait! those were in style a few years ago. We're past the moment of Harry Potter costumes.  Will a vampire costume do?  Vampires have some sort of special powers besides drinking blood, right?  How about paying an older child to take the KWSN around? Will the older sibling be amenable to dragging along the younger one, yet again?

Final answer: a Halloween party of one's own.  Invite all the KWSN classmates over for a few hours on the day of or the day before or after Halloween. Costumes will be shown off, music will be played, treats for everyone, all in the sane comfort of your own abode.

Happy trick or treating with your niece or nephew with special needs.  And remember, sugar really does make a KWSN scary.