Common Sense Media is dedicated to improving the lives of kids and families by providing the trustworthy information, education, and independent voice they need to thrive in a world of media and technology. We exist because our kids are growing up in a culture that profoundly impacts their physical, social, and emotional well-being. We provide families with the advice and media reviews they need in order to make the best choices for their children. Through our education programs and policy efforts, Common Sense Media empowers parents, educators, and young people to become knowledgeable and responsible digital citizens. For more information, go to: www.commonsense.org.

Social and emotional skills are essential for school and social life, but many kids struggle to master them. For kids who have a special need, such as a developmental delay or autism, social situations and handling emotions can be a challenge. We know that about 15% of parents with kids ages 4-17 talk to healthcare providers or school personnel about their child’s emotional or behavioral difficulties (National Center for Health Statistics, 2006). Here, we offer ways in which Auntie can help identify and address kids’ social and emotional challenges. We also offer tips for finding effective apps and a list of related resources.

Common Challenges

-Recognizing or managing their own emotions or seeing others show emotion
-Showing in traditional ways that they care about others
For example, some kids who are excited may squeal, jump, or flap their hands instead of saying how happy they are. And some kids who are really sad may look angry or strike out instead of crying or being quiet.
-Making or keeping friends and working with peers

Common Signs

-Avoid eye contact and/or become nervous in unfamiliar social situations
-Misread social cues (particularly if they’re not obvious) or fail to consider the social context
-Show lots of fear, distrust, or uncontained emotion, from social unease to severe upset
-Share information about their own interests without finding out whether others are interested
-Talk about only a few topics that they’re very interested in
-Have difficulty grasping abstract ideas

Ways to Help

-Expand kids’ vocabulary of feeling words
-Encourage nieces and nephews to use coping strategies, such as self-calming, scripted routines for approaching people and identifying situations that make them uncomfortable
-Help kids practice typical social interactions, and avoid overly formal language or unnatural eye contact by role-playing social situations in advance
-Give kids opportunities for supported, face-to-face peer interaction
-Give kids opportunities to use protected digital social media tools to make friends in a stress-free environment

What to Look For in an App

-Tools that have characters or people, as opposed to only objects or concepts
-Ample response time, with opportunities to try again and positive feedback
-Practice identifying facial expressions and social cues
-Chances to interact safely with kids in other locations (e.g., virtual pen pals or pre-scripted chat)
-Adjustable levels of reinforcement and activity so that tools can be set to avoid fear, confusion, and too much stimulation

Learn More

-National Center for Learning Disabilities contains many articles about social and emotional skills, with links to other informative sites.
-AbilityPath.org is an online hub and community for guardians of children with special needs, with helpful tools and resources.
-Social Thinking is a treatment framework and curriculum developed to improve individual social-thinking abilities

Photo: David Castillo Dominici
Published: April 2, 2013