Special Guest Writer: Dr. Tara Cousineau is a clinical psychologist, mother, and Aunt. She is founder of BodiMojo.com for teenagers, a health engagement platform for teens leveraging web and mobile technologies to inspire healthy living. The use of BodiMojo.com by teen girls has shown to have a significant effect on improving girls’ attitudes about their own body image. Tara also blogs at BodiMojo.com/blog and TeensInBalance.com.


Aunties of Teens: Are you aware of the recent buzz about a national study by the American Association of University Women which reports that nearly half of middle- and high-schoolers have experienced sexual harassment?  Think about your nieces and nephews. Are they a target? Do they even know what sexual harassment is?  Would your darlings know if they were inappropriately teased or bullied? Or – heaven forbid – could he or she be the kid who is instigating such behaviors? 

The American Association of University Women, a nonprofit research organization who conducted the Crossing the Line survey among nearly 2000 tweens and teens, define sexual harassment as “unwelcome sexual behavior that takes place in person or electronically.” They also found that of the teens who reported sexual harassment, 87% had psychological and physiological consequences:  not going to school, stomach aches, and sleep problems.

Once again, I’m of the opinion that Aunties serve a revered role as mentor on all things too embarrassing to talk about with mom or dad.  I bet you even have personal story or two you think is safe enough to share or a story about a classmate to illustrate some points. If not, just watch a few teen sitcoms and you’ll spot some good fodder for bringing up the topic. 

Sadly, there have been tragic cases of youth suicide among teens who were relentlessly teased, and often called names like “gay,” “slut,” or “whore.”  According to the survey results, there is more harassment on school grounds than there is online (44% vs. 30%), with girls more affected than boys, but these rates show that there is no safe haven, online or offline, when a teen is a target.  In a New York Times article summarizing the study, students reported that the most at risk were the pretty girls or early developers, “ugly” kids, or feminine boys.  Interestingly, with all the anti-bullying campaigns and educational initiatives, spelling out what “sexual harassment” is does not seem to be a clear part of public health messaging. Anti-bullying and sexual harassment prevention should go hand in hand. But we know schools and communities have politicized sexual education, leaving the teaching to parents – and, of course, to the teens themselves, to figure it out on their own.

Aunties, it’s time to insert yourself in the conversation as a trusted resource. How can you talk about sexual harassment with your loved ones?

1) Educate yourself on the topic. Discovery Education has a good lesson plan for definitions and examples.
2) Tell your nieces and nephews about the national survey and ask them what they think about it.
3) Ask your nieces and nephews if they have observed any examples at school or elsewhere and what they feel about witnessing it. Who do they think are the targets and why?
4) Be direct, ask your nieces and nephews if they have ever been teased about their body, their gender, or called names.
5) Does their school have a method to report sexual harassment that they know about? If not, it’s something you and your nieces and nephews can ask about at the guidance office.
6) Be the person your nieces and nephews can go to anytime to talk about these sensitive issues, and be a known but silent observer of their Facebook accounts or social networks. That way if something concerning comes up, you can raise it in person.
7) Send them to some cool teen resources such as MTV’s A Thin Line and Love is Respect.

Of course, the best course of Auntie action: Stay connected and be open.  The best way to have a pulse on the tween/teen vibe is to be available in a way that parents often just can’t be when it comes to hot topics.  Plus, it keeps you young at heart. Lucky you!




Reference Links:

http://www.aauw.org/learn/research/crossingtheline.cfm

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/07/education/widespread-sexual-harassment-in-grades-7-to-12-found-in-study.html?_r=1&ref=us

http://www.discoveryeducation.com/teachers/free-lesson-plans/sexual-harassment.cfm

related to previous Tara Cousineau posts on Savvy Auntie:
http://tinyurl.com/cabneec

http://tinyurl.com/3m2m2k6


Image Courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/merfam/71578640/

Published: November 9, 2011