By Natalie Weder, MD, Child Mind Institute: Pediatric Psychopharmacologist

Adolescence is one of the most exciting times of our lives; we are at a peak of strength, physical health, and mental capacity. And yet these can also be very stressful and risky times for our nieces and nephews. Being a teenager is all about growing up, starting to separate from caregivers, finding a personal and group identity, and building relationships. These are all necessary, even thrilling, tasks—but they can get complicated.
 
As a psychiatrist and a proud Auntie, I have been a close witness to the typical struggles of adolescence. As part of normal development, teens start to question their parents’ values and search for their own identities by challenging what they have been told and finding new meanings and ideas from their peers. Friendships help in developing a sense of identity, as a way to experiment and become comfortable with intimacy and practice the subtle and more sophisticated aspects of adult relationships. Being loved and accepted by friends becomes of paramount importance. However, hormonal and brain changes make teens more prone to impulsive and risk-taking behaviors and therefore more at risk for succumbing to peer pressure. Teen friendships are also passionate, intense, unpredictable and volatile, which can be quite overwhelming and confusing for both kids and parents.
 
Research has shown that one of the most important factors for helping kids and teenagers overcome stresses like these is to have an adult who believes in them and is a source of support and validation. And this is where Aunties can come in.
 
Your nieces and nephews might not be able to talk to their parents about some of their friendship struggles, but they might be open to confiding in another trusted and loved adult. Don’t push too much, but be present and available. Validate their feelings and bring perspective to their struggles. Be more willing to listen than to talk. And always remind them that no matter how much they fight with their best friend, or how heartbroken they are because someone “unfollows” them on social media, you will always be there for them, and you are not going anywhere.