By Dr. Rachel Busman
Child Mind Institute

We want children to enjoy dressing up and trick-or-treating as much as possible. However, Halloween has become an increasingly adult holiday, and you can see it reflected in the costumes marketed to children. Many are more sexualized and violent than in the past. Fortunately, I think it's possible to help kids steer towards picking a creative costume that is still developmentally appropriate. Here are some ideas to share with your own children, or friends who have kids.

If you are the parent in this situation, it’s a little easier, because you have ultimate say over setting the limits. If you are a concerned aunt or friend, collaborate with the parent first before communicating ideas to the child. We want to promote clear messages and collaboration.

Costumes don't need to be sexy

If you look around stores, a lot of the girls' Halloween costumes are very sexualized. Of course this is a trend in girls' clothing everywhere, but it's even more apparent during Halloween, when the skirts get shorter, the necklines get lower, and a tween who refuses to make her bed suddenly wants to be a French maid. I've seen everything from sexy cat costumes to sexy SpongeBob SquarePants.

This may be because some consider Halloween a day when they get a free pass to dress however they want. Adults have the capacity to better understand the choices they make, while children may be choosing a costume simply because it's what everyone else is doing. And the stakes are particularly high now that many of our actions are documented (and broadcast) on social networking sites.

Letting kids wear sexually provocative costumes sends the message that it's healthy for girls to dress like women and exhibit adult sexuality. If your niece asks your opinion about a Halloween costume, be honest. Offer ideas for costumes that are appropriate for the child’s age and offer a chance to portray a positive and strong female figure (e.g. Marie Curie or Jane Goodall).

It's possible that your niece might not be aware of how inappropriate the costume is. Or she might have her heart set on being a vampire, but there might not be any non-sexy options at the store. Work with the parents- if the skirt is too short she can wear a different skirt, or add leggings. It’s important to encourage kids to express their creativity and have fun, but in a way that is appropriate.

Avoid Freddy Krueger

Many costumes may be too violent and gory for children, particularly the younger ones. To offset this trend some families—and even some schools—have started encouraging kids to only wear what they consider "positive costumes," like animals or some popular television characters. While I understand their motives, from a child development perspective I don't think that an appropriate costume needs to be a happy, smiley thing. It's fine for a child to be a villain from his favorite movie, for example and still be appropriate.

Parents set the limits, but an aunt can be influential as a respected role model. You can help in steer kids to make healthier choices, which can be very valuable.

Published: October 30, 2014
Photo: Shutterstock