If you’re a busy uncle, how do you stack the deck so you can enjoy your nieces and nephews without getting overwhelmed by the time and energy it takes? Sometimes you just want to spend time with people your own age doing your own thing.

That doesn’t make you a bad uncle. And it can even help you forge a tighter connection with the kids in your life.

We’re people too and we actually have lives when we’re not busy spoiling nephews and nieces. Today, I’m going to explore a couple ways in which our two lives intersect.

The Boyfriend Uncle

The first time you bring a date to see your nephews and nieces, you’re in trouble. First, because your date is now vying for your attention while you’re in the midst of young people who were privy to your praise and comments.

It’s a tough line, but the balancing act can be accomplished. Just focus on treating the kids and your date with similar amounts of attention and everyone will see that we can all get along.

Second, and more dangerous with nieces, your date will have to meet with their approval. If your date is unfamiliar with how to act around nieces, just have her pretend that your niece is another girlfriend, just much younger.

They can talk about boys (you), food, clothes, sports or whatever comes to mind. Pretty soon the kids will be asking you where “Gretchen” is whenever you visit. It’s a good way to also show that you have a life, too.

The Working Uncle

Who hasn’t run into late nights or errands at home or even the need to just decompress. Experience enough of these time-sapping events and you’ll soon start to neglect your nieces and nephews. And don’t you think they won’t notice. They will.

To remedy this - and keep from getting fired, burned-out or disheveled - make time for mini-visits.

What I like to do when the weather is good is combine errands. Sunny Saturdays are great days to pop by their house when I’m out doing grocery shopping or going to the dump. If the route allows and you have time, you can even suggest they come with you to the store.

That way you’ll get food shopping done and still get to spend time with your favorite family members. It will also give your siblings time to decompress a little. Two birds, one stone.

Finally, talk to your nieces and nephews about work. Let them know, depending on age, the value of money and what you do for work. They’ll probably think it’s pretty cool that uncle Jeff is a cat trainer for the circus or that he counts red Volkswagens for the government.

I didn’t say it all had to be heavy, you can still have a little fun. After all, you’re the uncle and you do hold most of the cards.