By Kim Stagliano

Hi Aunties, I'm Kim Stagliano: writer, speaker, blogger and Mom to three teen daughters with full autism. April has become the month designated for autism awareness. I hate it and so should you.

(Savvy Aunties scratching their heads: "What did she just say?")

Oh, I said it alright. April with its barrage of blue lit buildings and blue light bulbs for sale at that orange home improvement retailer makes me feel bl -- no, that phrase won't work. It makes me see RED. Instead of asking you to "Light it up Blue" I am asking you to Light it up "TRUE.”

In March, the CDC came out with frightening new autism prevalence rate of 1 in 68 American children based on children born in 2002 and counted in 2012. When I first started blogging about autism the rate was 1 in 188. Then 1 in 150. 1 in 110. 1 in 88. And today? 1 in 68.

Awareness has always been and continues to be a cop-out in my mind. It's easy to be aware. Awareness is passive.  

In this month of A words, I want you to be active. Instead of celebrating a diagnosis that turns families upside down,  I want you to commemorate a tough diagnosis and act swiftly to help someone you love who is facing the very real challenges of parenting a child, teen or adult on the spectrum. This includes Asperger's - which is often singled out as the "easy" autism. People on the spectrum face discrimination and difficulties no matter where they fall in terms of ability from the most severe autism to Asperger's.

1) Ask questions: Don’t be afraid to ask about the diagnosis, whether it’s Down Syndrome, autism or anything else. The more you know, the more comfortable you’ll become with the child.  My then 10 year old nephew once asked me if autism was contagious. I admired him for being brave enough to ask. My 20 year old nephew shows great empathy for his cousins as a young man. Cultivate that generosity of spirit in your nieces and nephews!

2) Stay in touch: Call Mom every so often. Send her a text or a Tweet to let her know that you’re aware of what she’s going through and are supportive. Talk to her about "regular" stuff and not just her child on the spectrum.

3) Offer to help:  Grab a gift card to the local coffee shop or two tickets to a movie and send Mom and Dad OUT for an hour or two. Even if their child is a handful, you can manage a short period of time when you learn about your niece or nephew --  and that respite time for Mom and Dad will work wonders for them. Time is the best gift you can offer.

4)  Don't think you have to send every article you see on autism to Mom and Dad  - chances are they are well aware of the news cycle and some of the media coverage is so bad it frankly makes us angry!

I'm participating in a free telesummit this month with several experts in all areas of autism including Temple Grandin.  An easy action step is to the send this link to a friend or family member: http://autism-telesummit.com/. Or, you can listen to parts of the event yourself. The more you learn the easier time you will have being around autistic nieces or nephews - and that will make the blue April showers turn into some terrific flowers for your family.

As always, Aunties, thanks for listening to my yearly suggestions about autism. We need you and your love for ourselves and our kids too.

Kim Stagliano is a nationally recognized autism advocate and speaker and author of All I Can Handle I’m No Mother Teresa: A Life Raising Three Daughters with Autism and the novel House of Cards. Although autism typically affects boys, Stagliano is in the unique position of having three daughters with full-blown autism, which has made her and her family the focus of national media attention. She is managing editor of www.ageofautism.com and writes for The Huffington Post, The Autism File magazine. A former sales and marketing executive, Stagliano lives in Connecticut with her family. Her website is www.kimstagliano.com.

Photo: Courtesy of Kim Stagliano
Published: April 1, 2014