By Katelyn Fry
July 3, 2017


Recently, my sister told me that a few of my 16-year-old niece’s friends smoke cigarettes and that she’s concerned that Mikayla would submit to peer pressure and start smoking, too. My sister spoke with Mikayla about it, but I wanted to give that conversation a shot myself.
 
When I asked Mikayla what she thought about smoking, she said she thinks it’s “stupid” because “everyone knows that it’s blatantly bad for your health.” She also said that she hates the smell and she has no desire to smoke. While reassuring, I still wanted to stress that she should never, ever try it. And that’s when my own hypocrisy slapped me in the face.

“But Aunt Katelyn, you smoke,” she said

Yikes!  I just stared at her for a minute, speechless. She was right. Who am I to give her this advice? Finally, the only words I could find were: “And I hate that I do.”

When she asked me why I smoke, I knew I had no choice but to be honest with her. I told her how, when I was a teenager, a friend told me that he smoked because when he’s stressed out. He said he’d smoke a cigarette instead of punching a wall. And once, when I was upset, I remembered what he said, and stole one of my dad’s cigarettes.
 
It was downhill from there.

Mikayla asked me if smoking really is a stress-reliever. I looked her in the eye, and I told her no. It’s not. I smoked my first cigarette hoping I’d feel better, but after that, it just became a habit.
 
I went on to explain the downfalls of smoking, and not just the kind you see in anti-smoking ads. Smoking is a silly distraction. If you’re in a bad mood and have a cigarette, it doesn’t change whatever put you in that mood. The issue will still be waiting for you when you put the cigarette out, so what’s the point?

I also agreed about the “smoker smell.” If you are around other smokers, no one notices. But if you are hanging out with non-smokers, the smell is more powerful than you realize, and it’s awful being that person.

It’s Just Like, Facts.

I also told her about “smoker’s cough” which I deal with, daily. I sound like I’m practically dying, and I’ve got no one to blame but myself.  

The cost! I told her how much I spend a week on cigarettes and I don’t know what was more painful – actually saying how much I spend, or seeing her jaw drop.

And of course, the most important reason of them all: the health risks. Our conversation got particularly interesting and difficult when Mikayla asked how I could possibly keep smoking knowing how bad it is for me. “It’s just like, facts,” she said rather astutely.

Before this conversation with Mikayla, I was never forced to admit out loud that I struggle when I have a cigarette or buy a pack. But, as long as my concerns were only in my head, it’s been as if they weren’t real. Meanwhile, my teenage niece was giving her 25-year-old aunt a much-needed reality check.

“So, why don’t you try to quit?” she asked.

Such a simple question. Why don’t I? Thanks to my niece, I accepted the challenge. Not only will this choice result in bettering myself, I want to be a role model for Mikayla - not a hypocrite.

I went into the conversation intending to be the guide, but my teenage niece ended up guiding me, and I couldn’t be more grateful and proud of her.

Photo: HighwayStarz