By Katelyn Fry
November 15, 2017

When a niece’s or nephew’s parent is abusing drugs or alcohol, we want to step in and help the children we love. Naturally, it can be a confusing and overwhelming time for all involved. Here are five ways we can be the best support system for our nieces and nephews.

1. The More You Know…

… the more you can help. When you research information about the substance being abused, you can be more confident when answering your nieces' and nephews' questions and help them understand what their parent is going through. Some of the questions they may have can catch many of us without the answers they expect grown ups to have at their fingertips:

What does it do to the user?
What are the long-term physical and mental effects?
What is the withdrawal like?
What does treatment entail?
What will recovery be like?

Having the knowledge to answer their questions, or at least the resources at-hand to reference, will help put the children at ease. Information can help them feel safe.

2. Here’s How to Talk About it

Dr. David Sack, a board certified addiction psychiatrist, recommends being honest with children while also keeping the conversation age-appropriate. He advises to keep it simple, “acknowledge the impact” it may have on them, and reassure them that the situation is not their fault. He also advocates children understand the National Association for Children of Addiction's “Seven Cs of Addiction:”'

I didn’t Cause it
I can’t Cure it
I can’t Control it
I can Care for myself
By Communicating my feelings
Making healthy Choices
And by Celebrating myself

3. A Support Group Can Do Wonders for Kids

Help your nieces and nephews understand that they are not alone. According to American Addiction Centers, 25 percent of kids in America grow up in substance abuse households. Being able to talk and relate to other kids their age who are going through or have gone through the same or similar experience may help your nieces and nephews feel less isolated and encourage them to open up about their own emotions and experiences. The American Addiction Centers website offers several support groups for children of all ages. The National Association for Children of Addiction website is a good place to begin your search for the right support group for your nieces and nephews.

4. Consider Family Therapy

According to DrugAbuse.com, when those who are addicted have family members involved in their treatment, studies find “better engagement, higher rates of success, and increased aftercare participation.” Group therapy targets the well-being of the family rather than the addict alone, allowing he or she to feel less attacked and more connected with those who love and support them. Family therapy also give your nieces and nephews, and everyone in the family, a chance to express themselves in a safe and open environment.

5. Make Sure the Kids Are Able to Be Kids

Indra Cidambi, M.D., a contributor to USNews.com says that the children of parents who suffer from substance abuse “often grow up quickly.” She recommends we look for ways to help the kids be kids and find ways to “keep these children busy and laughing gives them a sense of normalcy.” Remind your nieces and nephews that “there’s more to life than their experiences behind closed doors,” as Dr. Cidambi says. As their aunt, we are often able to make sure they know that this chapter in their life does not, and will not, define them.


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