Dear Savvy Auntie,

Is there such a word "deadbeat auntie"? My sister blames me that I’m the problem to why she wont come see her 5 yr (sic) old niece, 2 yr (sic) old and 8 month old nephew. My sister and I do not get along because of her choices. Her boyfriends are more important than spending time or seeing the kids. My whole family turned against me now because this b***h is "perfect". I don’t I need opinons (sic) and to move on. The only family I need are just my kids I guess.

Wondering Auntie

Dear Wondering Auntie,

I suppose there can be a “deadbeat” anyone including an auntie. Although you say your children are enough for you as family, you sound like someone who values family even-though you are angry with your sister. It must be painful to have your family side with her when you feel you are the “hurt party”.

It sounds like it’s time for a family meeting. I think that you should suggest the agenda. Maybe everyone could write down a grudge or disappointment and a possible solution. Yours might be I would like my sister to be more involved with my kids; a solution might be a steady date (once a week, once a month) she comes over to visit. If this idea appeals to you try a second one…that my family be more understanding of my feelings. The solution for this is to have a conversation that asks their specific gripe with you and a promise that you will try to accommodate their feelings.

Best of luck,
Natalie Robinson Garfield


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