Dear Savvy Auntie,

I'm an Auntie of six nephews, two of whom are long-distance and are my older sister's boys. My sister has chosen to cut me out of her kids lives for reasons that I can't explain. What I can say is that as a child very bad things happen to her and not me. She has always cut me out of her life.  

I love her and those boys so much it hurts. What do I do? I'm able to be there with the other boys but it's always a reminder of the two who are missing from my life. Any advice would be a blessing! Thank you!

Missing Nephews

Dear Missing Nephews,

Sadly you are in good company; so many aunties suffer not being allowed to see their nieces and nephews.

I advise them all to remember that the situation can, and often does, change.

Meanwhile, use all the tools of communication to keep in touch. Send them holiday and birthday cards, and depending on their ages, send little gifts. Write postcards regularly that might be of interest to them. If they are old enough to use technology, send messages and email - just a sentence or two telling them you love them.

Try writing to your sister asking to meet with her, either in person or on the phone, nothing too heavy, just to keep up-to-date. Hopefully, it can grow into something more.

Try to enlist the support of the rest of your family to help you and your sister connect.

Enjoy your other nephews and focus on the positive pushing the negative feelings aside.

I hope this is helpful,

Natalie Robinson Garfield

Homepage photo: alenkasm
Published: December 7, 2016

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