Editor's Note: In celebration of Thanksgiving, we asked our Experts to contribute a "Thank you" on behalf of a family member. We are all part of the Family Village, and taking a moment to appreciate each other is what this holiday is all about.

The large living room is crowded, holding twenty-seven of my extended family members.  Pockets of animated conversations take place between loud adults, and young children dart around their elders’ legs.  A televised football game serves as the soundtrack for this beautiful commotion.

In the eyes of most individuals this is the perfect scenario for a festive Thanksgiving, but it isn’t for my nephew who sits quietly in the corner.  While all others find solace in this place, he finds discomfort.  While all others feel welcomed, he senses rejection.  He is the fat elephant in the room that everyone is aware of but always feign ignorance.  He is hard-of-hearing.

Communication is the foundation of human relationships.  When this exchange between people is disrupted by a learning disability such as deafness, most individuals choose to avoid the stress of overcoming a barrier by casually disregarding the disabled person.  For a hard-of-hearing child, this can cause feelings of inadequacy and insecurity because his disability is not one of mental impairment.  It is merely one of disrupted hearing, and the deaf child is usually aware of his socially awkward situation.

There are certain things that can be done during holiday gatherings to show sensitivity and accommodation to a deaf/hard-of-hearing child.  The extra effort made to realize these minor adjustments could mean the difference in a bitter childhood or one full of fond family memories.

Make Personal Introductions

This is a great way to make your deaf niece feel welcomed and important.  When Great Aunt Ruth from Minnesota walks through the door, pull her aside and make a point of bringing your special kid to her attention.  By helping both of them “break the ice” with one another, not only will your deaf niece feel valued but Great Aunt Ruth might also have less fear about communicating with a hard-of-hearing person.

Bring it Down a Notch

When your nephew wears a hearing aid or has a cochlear implant, navigating sound can be a nightmare.  These technologies amplify speech for a hard-of-hearing individual, but it is often forgotten that they amplify all other noises as well.  This can hinder communication because it becomes difficult for your nephew to separate the auditory impressions of voices from those of background noise.  He cannot easily understand what is being said to him nor can he easily respond, creating awkwardness, perpetuating avoidance, and ultimately causing emotional isolation.

While any family gathering is going to have a little racket, it is easy enough to minimize some background noise.  Turn music to a very low level (or even off).  Another show of sensitivity would be to bring your nephew to a quieter area of the house during times of interaction.  The bustling kitchen or a rowdy TV room are not the places to attempt forging friendships with a deaf/hard-of-hearing child.  He will feel much more at ease if your interaction can happen in a room where he doesn’t have to work so hard to understand your words.

Bridge the Gap

Interacting with a hard-of-hearing child can be difficult if she is still developing her communication skills.  It can be almost crippling if your niece is completely deaf and speaks through the language of signs. However, putting yourself in the position of a student and asking your niece to take on the role of a teacher can give her a sense of empowerment.  Deaf children especially seem to enjoy teaching sign language and inviting others into their world. This type of exchange is always enriching for both participants.

Be Direct

When group announcements are made, be certain to inform your hard-of-hearing nephew personally.  He cannot always hear or understand announcements that are being indirectly given in a boisterous place.  Therefore when the family runs to the backyard for a festive bonfire and he is left alone in the family room with senile Grandpa Tucker, an unnecessary misunderstanding takes place.  An unspoken message is sent to your nephew that he is not wanted, and—conversely—it may be felt by others that your nephew has no interest in joining them either.

Never Assume

Deaf/hard-of-hearing children are at a disadvantage during their development.  There is a great amount of secondary and tertiary information, absorbed by hearing children, which deaf children cannot access.  Consequently, there are many social nuances that are not learned by the hearing-impaired unless an effort is made to enlighten them.  

Never assume that your deaf niece will know the rules to common games.  Never assume that she understands it is time to be still during prayer.  There are many things in which your deaf niece requires instruction that a hearing child picks up by nature, but an active environment amongst caring family is a great opportunity to apply any newly acquired knowledge.

Giving your deaf/hard-of-hearing niece or nephew these small gifts during the holiday season is a simple but powerful way to express your thankfulness for him or her.  And in the life of the hearing impaired, these small tokens of love speak louder than any words.