I live most the year in Madrid and the other in New York. And before little miss Margo, my niece, was born, heading back to the Spanish capital wasn’t such a hard adjustment. Miss Margo lives in D.C. so even when I’m in the states I’m also not around the corner – but the bolt bus does gives me plenty of opportunities to pop over for a weekend. As I was leaving my sister said, “When you get back in December she’s going to be so big.” Which to me translated into, you’re going to miss out on so much by being so far away.

I’ve been back in Madrid for almost a month now and I’ve already missed Margo’s first Jewish holiday. I received an update from my mother about her new facial expressions, sounds, and the outfit she wore to synagogue, but hearing about it and seeing it are two different things. I chat with my sister daily on IM and it’s the same – updates on sleeping patterns, eating habits, visitors, e.t.c, but no image besides the occasional photo. Living overseas has a way of disconnecting one from their family, but now with miss Margo in the world, I’m feeling it more than ever before.

Enter SKYPE!

When the Estonians came up with this brilliant invention, where you can talk to people for free and use video, I’m not sure if they realized the affect it would have on families scattered around the globe, but it has made an incredible impact. My hairdresser in Ohio, yes I still go home to my parents to get my haircut, has a grandson in Mexico who she skype’s with daily. It’s gone as far as the camera staying on all day just so that they can spend time together. She reads him books, plays games with him, and it’s become such a normal occurrence that when her grandson wants to talk with her, he points to the computer. Now this is wonderful, right? Because it gives us a way to connect with our loved ones far away but it has also made me wonder how long it can go on. How long can I be a SKYPE auntie?

Margo is still only a handful of months old but if I continue to live outside of the U.S., only seeing her three months out of the year, who do I become to her? An image she sees on the computer or an actual player in her life? Since she’s come into the world, and I’ve been back in Spain, I’ve thought a lot about the above question.  My sister tells me “I sing Margo a song every night, ‘Margo Elaine who’s aunt Cynnie lives in Spain,’ she loves it and smiles all the time.” 

I guess I didn’t realize how much this little lady would affect me, and she can’t even speak yet! Family is extremely important to me; I know it’s difficult on my parents that I live in another country, but for some reason Margo has made me question my want to do so. When I think of the kind of relationship I want with Margo, it falls into more of a best friend like category. I want her to be able to visit if she needs to get away from her parents. I’d like to see her grow up and be there for her. Is it possible to be the kind of aunt I want to be without being stateside?

So on this Jewish New Year, I thank the Estonians for SKYPE. And until I figure out the way to move forward, being a SKYPE auntie really ain’t that bad.