If Photos are Shared with Everyone, What's Left for Auntie?
Cynthia Kane is a freelance writer and editor who has recently become a Savvy Auntie!
Something is on my mind, and it’s one of those things I didn’t realize was getting to me until the holiday season. It has to do with photographs posted on Facebook. Don’t get me wrong I’m a big fan of scrolling through the newest photos posted by friends; checking out so-and-so’s new boyfriend; the latest travels of someone I don’t know; or meeting someone and rushing home to find out more about them, but I’m thinking there comes a point when you can share too much.
Since most people around my age are now having kids, Facebook has become the newest way to show them off. People have changed their profile pictures to their latest sonogram, and every new photo posted is of the latest outing, outfit, or growth spurt. This is all well and good. On one hand I understand wanting your friends to see your kids, how they’ve grown, doing funny things, etc., but on the other hand, I think it makes everything a bit generic.
"All of a sudden, I felt less important."
The other day I went online and checked my e-mail. I found a new one from my sister. I opened it and it was a notice saying that my sister had invited me to view a new album entitled, “Margo’s First Chanukah and Winter Storm!” I smiled and giggled flipping through the twenty-four pictures. And all I kept repeating was, “Oh, I love her.” Then I went to Facebook to check my account, and there on the updates page I see that my sister had uploaded photos of none other than, “Margo’s First Chanukah and Winter Storm!” Call me selfish, but suddenly I felt less important. Okay, I should mention there were some photos that my sister had not uploaded to Facebook, like the one where Margo is in her birthday suit; however, no matter how you put it, I no longer felt special.
I’m not saying I don’t think people should upload photos of their children, I’m only saying, and maybe I feel this way because I live far away and I only get to see Margo over SKYPE dates and photos, that seeing Margo on Facebook doesn’t make me feel so aunt-like. Why, because everyone is seeing Margo the same way I am.
I went over to my friend’s house, who is about to have a baby, she actually could be in labor at this very moment, and I was so excited to show her the new photos of Margo’s first Chanukah. The problem, she had already seen them. I couldn’t even share Margo because she had already been shared. I had told my friend what I was feeling and she said something super interesting. “I don’t think I’m going to post pictures of the baby on Facebook. It’s my thing.” This brings up another point. Before I post pictures on Facebook I always send out an e-mail, or ask those in the photo if they’re okay with having their pictures posted. Sure, Margo can’t give her consent, but when she’s older I wonder if it will bother her.
Will there be no special memories left for us?
All my baby photos are in an album. When I go home, I look through them. If I’m dating someone and they come home with me, we look through them. For some reason I have this image of years down the line Margo meets a boy and he says, “Oh, I remember you. You were the one on Facebook with that bear outfit on.” Okay, maybe that won’t happen, but you get the point.
Obviously in this situation I would never tell my sister to stop posting pictures of Margo. And maybe when I have a child I too will want to show her off in our generation's way and not our parents’ way. But right now, to feel like I know Margo a little bit more than those on Facebook, I ignore the Facebook uploads and only look at the e-mails my sister sends me. A personalized e-mail with an album attached makes me feel different from the rest, like an aunt.