Valentine's Day is often lamented as a pseudo-holiday, a card-company holiday, or generally a day of manufactured feeling rather than genuine sentiment.

I've never been a believer in any of that. While Valentine's Day may not be as big as Thanksgiving, Christmas or religious holidays like Passover and Easter, it's what I think of as a "reflective holiday." It's a day to enjoy life's small pleasures, like a handmade card, the spooky beauty of an orchid's blossom, or a tiny, adorable voice at the other end of a long-distance phone call.

Yes, it's a day to say, "I love you," but not for the reason most people think. Say "I love you" because you truly appreciate someone this Valentine's Day, not because a card company told you to, or because you feel obligated. Make it simple and heartfelt. Visit your nieces and nephews and spend some quality time with them, whether you've bought them a gift or not. If you're a Long-Distance Auntie (LDA), call those little ones and make sure they know how much you're missing them.

Or, better yet, have the nieces and nephews over to your house to make Valentines or do other fun activities while mom and dad have some time to themselves!

And don't forget to take the opportunity on Valentine's Day to think back to people who made the day special to you over the years, whether it was a significant other or not.

One Valentine's Day that will always live in my memory took place in elementary school - every year, each classroom hosted a Valentine shoebox decorating contest. My own Savvy Auntie, who has always been crafty and never afraid of the mess created by sequins and a glue gun, helped my sister and I with our boxes, which would later hold our Valentines. Mine had a giant pair of felt lips on the lid; my sister's had a huge flounder made of paper hearts with red netting over the top. We each won in our respective classrooms - and I remember being so proud and excited.

In high school, a male classmate bought individual long-stemmed roses from the student council's annual fundraiser and sent one to every girl in our (relatively small) senior class with a sweet note saying we had made the last four years special for him. It goes without saying that we were one dewy-eyed mass the entire day! And I'll bet that not a one of my female classmates has forgotten that gesture, though it's been many years.

These are the things I remember and that make me smile year after year on Valentine's Day - people who took the time to do something special for someone else; not because they were obligated, but because they knew it would brighten someone's day. A few scribbles on a folded piece of construction paper are more precious to me than all the diamonds at Tiffany's.

So, this year, skip the crowded, overpriced dinner and wilted cut flowers. Instead, use Valentine's Day as an opportunity to do good deeds. It's a day when the thought truly does count, and little things really do matter.

Published: February 9, 2011

Melanie Linn Gutowski, Savvy Auntie's Associate Editor, is a proud Godmother and ABC.