Stuggling Artist Auntie
I’m a struggling artist, but pretty happy in general. My sister is
married to a pretty wealthy guy and is a stay at home mom. She married
him right after college so never had to work a day in her life.
Meanwhile, I work my butt off to pay the rent.
The other day, I had
brought over an artist’s kit for my 6 year-old-niece. She was so excited
and wanted to start painting right then. As we were working on her
artwork, my sister came over to see how my niece was doing. I mentioned
that I was very proud of her and she might be a future artist. To that,
my sister exclaimed: “Great. Now she can struggle for the rest of her
life just like you.”
Now I don’t want my niece to struggle, but what
kind of values is my sister teaching her? Not everything in life comes
easy.
[answer]
You are not alone! So many aunties (and
grandparents) have different values than the parents.
There are two
issues here. The first is your hurt feelings at your sister’s demeaning
comment about you; the second is the different value system you and your
sister have. Please talk to your sister and tell her that when she said
“a struggling artist like you," you felt demeaned and your feelings
were hurt. If you can talk to her about differences in values, a more
difficult topic, explain that your niece can only benefit from a range
of values and she doesn’t have to choose one or the other.
Since your sister obviously feels threatened
by your input, be sure to make
it clear that your niece is her parents' child and will be far more influenced
by her parents’ attitudes. Art projects with your niece can be your special activity
together, not secret but also not involving your sister.
Happy Painting,
Natalie Robinson Garfield
TheSenseConnection.wordpress.com
Homepage photo: CHOReograPH
Published: February 15, 2017