Kim Cattrall Speaks Out on Being an Other Mother

Melanie Notkin is Founder of Savvy Auntie, Author and Lifestyle Expert

Kim Cattrall, star of Sex and The City, said earlier this week on BBC 4's Woman's Hour podcast that she doesn't want to be called "childfree" or "childless" because while she does not have children of her own, she is a mother. In her own words:

"I am not a biological parent, but I am a parent. I have young actors and actresses that I mentor, I have nieces and nephews that I am very close to. There is a way to become a mother in this day and age which doesn't include your name on the child's birth certificate. You can express that maternal side, very clearly, very strongly. It feels very satisfying."

While her words made some moms uncomfortable, I don't believe Kim meant that she is literally a child's mother, but has been very maternal to so many children and young adults she has mentored. To Kim, being called "childless" implies she is less than a mother, and that's not something Kim is OK with.

Listen to the full podcast here: http://bbc.in/1Y2qH55

At Savvy Auntie, for those of us who are not mothers by choice, biology, or like me, by circumstance, we are dedicated to the well-being of our nieces and nephews by relation, by choice, and children all over the world. While we are not those children's mothers, like Kim, we are very maternal toward the children we love.

While personally, I don't mind the term "childless" as a generalization for those without children, I do prefer to say of the Auntourage that we are "Childfull" as we choose to fill our lives with children we love.

Zosia Bielski of The Globe and Mail shares some of my thoughts on Otherhood and aunthood in her article on Kim's statements, here:

“We are so often perceived as cold, selfish, unfulfilled, feckless, sad, blasé about our fertility and too choosy for our own good,” Melanie Notkin wrote in her 2014 book Otherhood: Modern Women Finding a New Kind of Happiness.

Notkin founded SavvyAuntie.com to celebrate“PANKs” – that’s Professional Aunts No Kids. According to Notkin, 23 million Americans are PANKs, women “who have a special bond” with the nieces, nephews and godchildren in their lives (Cattrall would certainly qualify). Wrote Notkin: “That a demographic so large is so misunderstood or cast aside as less-than or completely unsavvy about children is not only unproductive but also hurts women, the children they love and the parents who can often use a helping hand.”

I'm thrilled that Kim Cattrall helped bring attention to the value of the Otherhood and the contributions of aunts to the lives and children - and to their parents who often need all the support they can get. Aunthood is a gift. It's a gift to the parents who need our help. It's a gift to the children - after all, no child has ever suffered from too much love. And it's a gift for us. How fortunate we are to be able to flex our maternal muscle on the children we love.

Babies are born from the womb. Maternity is born from the soul. There are many ways to mother.