Over the holidays, you run into old friends or family members you haven’t seen in a while, and you promise to “stay in touch” in the upcoming year. Then suddenly, another year has flown by, and neither of you have kept your promise, resulting in lots of guilt and bad feelings.

You may have had every intention of calling or emailing, but life gets crazy. It’s not always easy if your family is spread across the country, and it can be a challenge as our nieces and nephews get older, go to college and move out on their own. Then there are the old friends and acquaintances you may run into in your old neighborhood. So Auntie, how do you keep in touch?
 
Use Social Media. Using the virtual world to your advantage, it’s easy to become friends on Facebook, Twitter or Linked In, and you can keep up with each other’s goings on. This article on the Harvard Business Review blog says Linked In is a good way to manage what the author calls “weak tie relationships” as well as your stronger relationships.

Send messages to your family and friends on Facebook or Twitter when you’re traveling back to your hometown or the city where they live and see who wants to meet up. If several of you get together at one gathering, it takes the pressure off of one-on-one meetings especially if you don’t know them very well.

If someone becomes too much for you on Facebook, you can hide or unfriend them. We won’t tell.

Texting. Millennials and their younger counterparts prefer texting over email and actual phone conversations and are more likely to respond to a text. If your niece or nephew is away at college, send them the occasional text to say hello and check on them.

Use Email. To keep up with your relatives who may not be on “The Facebook” as my mom says, use email. Drop them a line every now and again. If you need to, add reminders on your calendar to check in with them.

Follow Up. If you’re the one who says “let’s do lunch,” make a date right then and there or make a notation on your calendar to remind yourself to email or call. If the other person suggested lunch or a drink, you can let them initiate any meeting.

Author and speaker Tim Sanders recommends investing time in your personal networking relationships by picking three people in your contacts list each week and spend 15 minutes with each to catch up.

Get the Digits. If you don’t already have their contact information, enter their phone number and email on your smartphone or ask if they have a card or take a photo of their card. You can create your own “card” with your contact information using an app, such as Card Flick, and then you can easily send it to someone else.

Introduce Them. Bringing another friend along for lunch or a drink is a great way to break the ice with someone you may not know as well. Or If you do know the person fairly well, you may want to introduce them to another friend or acquaintance if they have similar interests. Several years ago, I brought a friend with me to lunch with another friend because they both were interested in camping and the outdoors (I’m not), and now the two of them are married and just had a baby.

Dump Toxic People. Let’s point out the big ugly question. Do you really want to stay in touch? Sometimes we say “yes” out politeness, but inside our heads, we’re screaming, “Noooooo!” If someone sucks the happiness and joy out of you, then don’t spend time with them and don’t make any promises if you have no intention of keeping them. Life is too short to spend with toxic people.

Published: December 27, 2011