Sarah, her friend, Mary, and I were lounging on the sofa. I don’t remember now what we were talking about, but I laughed when Sarah advised her friend, “You should listen to her. She says smart stuff.”

Since Sarah’s arrival in December, life lessons have come fast and furious. When those moments happen, Sarah can always see my reaction coming. I tilt my head to the side and ask, “And what have we learned?” I’ve even started referring to my house as “Auntie Janice’s Finishing School for Young Ladies.” After all, the goal Sarah and I have is to help her become a functional adult. Being a grown-up is optional. I’m not even sure I’m a grown-up.

Stuff Management

Sarah and her friends had a bit of a misadventure during a Mardi Gras trip, which included a minor fender bender, leaving their stuff in the towed car, and stolen money from their wallets. Afterwards, Sarah wondered aloud what lesson God was trying to show her.

Feeling very exasperated at the time, I burst out with, “You know what the lesson is? Take care of your stuff. You need to take care of your mental stuff, your physical stuff, and your emotional stuff.” Okay, I’ll admit that I used a different word for stuff, but I needed something more dramatic at the time.

I use this concept with myself and my organizing clients, and I explained how when I’ve ignored my own stuff, it’s come back to bite me. Stuff can run the gamut from the minor to the major, and the consequences range from mildly irritating to life-threatening.

Minor stuff are things like not wiping up a countertop spill, sweeping up your hair off the bathroom floor, or refilling the toilet paper roll. Major stuff is avoiding bills and money issues, failing to follow up on job applications, serious clutter, or scheduling regular doctor check-ups.

Here are a few examples of taking care of your stuff:

1. Noodle Management
Like my other nieces and nephews, Sarah loves Ramen noodles, and I discovered stepping on dried noodles on the kitchen floor in bare feet is painful. Once I pointed this out to her, Sarah made sure to open the noodles over the pot she’s using and to sweep up any strays.

2. Spider Management
I am a firm believer in men being responsible for the disposal of all insects, rodents, and other icky things. However, as a singleton, I’ve had to kill my own spiders and such. A few months ago, I regaled my online friends with the story of chasing a lizard around my house, capturing it by using two plastic cups, and releasing it outside.

When Sarah spotted a “humongous” spider in the hallway, I demonstrated the time honored method of smashing icky things into smithereens with a shoe. “We have to deal with these things ourselves,” I explained. “We can’t wait around for someone else to do it.”

Self-Care Management

1. Beauty
Like many of life’s lessons, we humans have to learn things the hard way. Sarah recently learned a major life lesson about using sunscreen. After a beach trip to nearby Galveston Island with friends, Sarah came home rocking a serious sunburn, especially on her face. There was forehead swelling, blistered lips, peeling skins, and numerous laments about how she usually never burns on her face. There’s always a first time.

As a teen who grew up in the 80s, my friend and I used to sunbathe with baby oil and suntan oil – the stuff that’s supposed to help us tan. We were really frying ourselves. At age 18, I changed my ways after I had my first questionable spot removed, and sunscreen and aloe vera gel are now main staples in my medicine cabinet.

2. Anxiety
Since my young charge has issues with anxiety, my therapist recommended The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, a great guide to help manage anxiety and stress. Sarah has been reading it and using the visualization and stress management techniques. I even bought a copy to use for myself and my organizing clients. I think this should be issued to all humans.

Ongoing Life Lessons

Sarah and I are continuing our journey together. Like many journeys, I know there will be triumphs and bumps along the way for both of us, and we’re taking this part together and asking the question, “What have we learned?”

Photo: marin
Published: March 26, 2013