So your niece or nephew has a chronic illness or a life-threatening allergy. Do you encourage them to still pursue their dreams or should you manage their expectations?
 
As the aunt of a child with major health issues, you have an exciting opportunity: empower that child to live, I mean really live, in spite of their illness. Yes, they have limitations, and they have to work about those limitations. But the way you talk to that child, they way you either encourage or discourage them, can have a tremendous effect on what they think is possible. How do you handle this?
 
1. Start by listening!
 
If your niece tells you she wants to run a horse ranch someday, don't cut off the conversation by reminding her she needs to be in remission first! Tell her that's a fascinating idea--and then ask her to tell you more. Create a safe place where your nephew can dream of scuba diving someday. You don't have to make plans to help enable these dreams; at this point it's just about expressing and exploring ideas. It's an enormous comfort to have someone you can talk freely with who will withhold judgment. You can be that person for your niece or nephew.
 
2. Find inspiration.
 
Another way you can encourage the kids in your life is to share stories about other people with major health issues who dared to dream. Underneath stories of accomplishment are lessons about fortitude, determination, and positive thinking, lessons that can inspire a child even if her greatest accomplishment is to just survive.

Disabled World and Family Village have links to famous people with disabilities.

3. Support their parents.
 
Your niece or nephew's parents have the difficult job of managing expectations and negotiating the daily compromises and adaptations. And it's easy to become overly cautious around these kids, to protect them not only from external harm but from the heartbreak of not achieving their dreams. You may feel the parents shelter their child too much--or push them too much. But keep in mind that either way, as an aunt you see only a fraction of the big picture. Be sensitive to your niece or nephew's parents' wishes and balance your encouragement with their perspective.
 
4. Be the person who reminds that child that they are more than their illness or disability.
 
Take it from someone who has a chronic illness; when I became severely ill I did not consign the rest of my life to a bed. I determined to continue living my life to the fullest extent possible. I started my own business! And I created emergency alert jewelry that would provide people, especially children, a moment of pleasure instead of fear or disappointment every time they see that jewelry. In my life I try to focus on what is possible, on what I can do, on what makes my life full and exciting. Your niece is not defined by her severe peanut allergy. Your nephew is more than his chronic seizures. As long as you are always prepared for a medical emergency (see my previous post on that subject!) you can focus on the best life has to offer--especially the power to dream!