Bad Mommy, Good Auntie
"Mommy, it seems like you love Tori and Rhys more than you love us." I went into shock when my daughter spoke these words to me, comparing my affection for my niece and nephew with that for her and her siblings. “What do you mean?” I asked. I had no idea from where this notion was coming. I do adore my niece and nephew, but I passionately love my children. “Whenever you see them, you become this awesome person that tickles and giggles,” my daughter said. You play chase and smile all the time. You don’t do that with us.”
I knew that her statement was melodramatic and inaccurate. I absolutely expend love and energy on my offspring; however, my daughter’s declaration did trigger an epiphany. There are some instances when being an auntie is simply more fun than being a mommy. Here are some reasons for that:
You get to be the FUN guy.
When I am the auntie, I am not responsible to force the homework issue or police bedrooms for cleaning standards. Society saddles mothers with these tasks. As the auntie, I am free to pursue the pleasures of life with my nephew such as zoo expeditions or bike rides around the neighborhood. In the mind of my nephew, this makes his mother the jail warden and me the bondsman.
It’s easier to keep up appearances.
When I am the auntie, my niece’s exposure to me is relatively brief in comparison with the 24/7 timeframe her mom bears. These brief stints that exemplify a cheerful and energetic countenance give the illusion that this is my persona every hour of every day. And truthfully, I like hiding behind that illusion.
Your opinions and examples carry more weight.
When I am the auntie, “Eat your vegetables because they’ll make you beautiful” translates into truth that warrants attention. When I am the mommy, the exact same words are met with rolling eyes and heavy sighs. Who doesn’t like having every uttered word treated with reverence? Aunties win it on this one.
Your money is spent on things that garner favor.
When I am the auntie, I don’t have to be practical. It’s no secret that a great portion of a mommy’s budget goes towards purchasing life’s necessities for her little people. Food, shelter, clothing and doctor visits all add up, and yet these items rarely bring the mommy brownie points in the eyes of a child. Instead, it’s the auntie who indulges the Webkinz addiction or secures the Jonas Brothers concert tickets and is the one who climbs the “favorite person” ladder.
You get to give them back.
When I am the auntie, I can run away when there is fallout from the over-indulging I encourage. Mommy is the one who has to pick up the tab. Is that so wrong?
J.L. Knopp is a freelance writer and blogger: thedisneydrivenlife.com
Published: May 18 2010