Dr. Tara Cousineau is a clinical psychologist, mother, and Aunt. She is founder of BodiMojo.com for teenagers, a health engagement platform for teens leveraging web and mobile technologies to inspire healthy living. The use of BodiMojo.com by teen girls has shown to have a significant effect on improving girls’ attitudes about their own body image. Tara also blogs at BodiMojo.com/blog and TeensInBalance.com.

I am anticipating having my two nephews and niece visit in a few weeks – without their parents. All told, I will have five teenagers for a week including my own. In anticipation of this, I am already building up my stress management tool kit. I have a few tried and true methods but they fall to the wayside with the busyness of life. One thing I want to exude is simply being a cool Auntie. You know, a bit chill – even though they are from Southern California and will be trudging along in the Vans and shades, I figure I need to pull out my calm, cool and collected self. Since I have developed my own personal method for self-care and calm after years of practicing and teaching mind-body medicine, I decided to pull the top six that will help with teen energy.

1. Breathe
2. Yoga
3. Journal
4. Be Outside
5. Lots of Snacks
6. Practice Generosity & Gratitude

1. Breathe

Being in charge of a bunch of teenagers is nothing short of a whirlwind – when they are awake that is. They usually stay up late, make lots of noise, and eat everything in sight.

Mini meditations are key. One can do them 50 times a day and no one knows you are practicing them. You simply take a minute or two to breathe deeply and slowly. There are a number of ways to do this:

-Simply focus on the sensation of the breath streaming in and out of your nose. Notice what it feels like, the air through the nostrils, the rise and fall of your belly.

-You can also slowly count to 5, 7 or 10 on the in-breath on again the out-breath. (It helps to have the exhale a tad longer and just really ride the breath out.)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, [hold!] 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

-Yet, if you are like me and get impatient, then it helps to focus on words or phrases to say in your mind. “When I breathe in, I breathe in peace. When I breathe out, I breathe out calm.” Or simply: Peace (in breath); Calm (out breath).

I might change the out breath to the word “love” if I’m particularly annoyed with a family member. A loving kindness breathing meditation can have an immediate, positive effect. Research has shown that loving kindness meditations reduce stress and can change the neural structure of the brain In other words, the more you practice calm states and take in the good, you can actually change your physiology and this in turn changes your outlook to be sunnier.

2. Yoga

Yoga is a beautiful practice no matter what a person’s size, shape or body type. The practice of yoga nurtures inner beauty and outward calmness. It can also be a low-aerobic exercise if you follow ashtanga practice or vinyasa flow. I may even get my nephews and niece to try it with me or take a class. The great thing is there are now tons of yoga apps and DVDs. Yoga might also scare the teens away. If that is the case, then one can truly get some space!

3. Journal

Time passes so quickly that most of us don’t take in the moments to slow down and let the good things really sink in. Sure, we can post, tweet or text as a fun way to document events in a day. But most are easily overwritten with the next tidbit or minutia. Our brains are wired to look for the negative or the dramatic (as a survival strategy carried over from caveman days) rather than stick with the smaller, less pronounced, positive things that occur daily.

Taking time to truly reflect and ponder the joyful moments has benefits for the heart and the mind. Write something every day. Writing helps one purge the gobley gook that piles up in the conscious and subconscious mind. Releasing this personal content can unleash surprising things. You may find yourself writing a list that turns into a haiku, or start to think of a memory, or solve a problem you see in a new way. It’s always nice to end an entry with the things you appreciate in your life.

4. Be Outside

My nephew said to me recently that he loves coming to New England because of the cool weather and all the trees. I can see our surroundings are probably exotic to a kid raised in LA. One thing I love to practice is sky awareness. By spending 20 minutes a day looking up, you can change your inner and outer perspectives on life. I also discovered a neat constellation app that uses geolocation and maps out the night sky from where you are sitting. What a wonderful thing to do on a clear night with your nieces and nephews!

5. Snacks

There’s nothing worse than cranky teens who always seem ravenous. Or a cranky Auntie, for that matter. Keeping fueled is important. I’m already stocking up on protein snacks, trail food, and water to get through any day trip. Really, the practice of a healthy diet is the basis for a healthy lifestyle, and eating well is important role-modeling for teens. After all, most health habits are established by the time a person is around 21 years old (or graduates from college), so it’s a good time to show the young’uns.

6. Practice Generosity & Gratitude

Feeling gratitude is the seed for cultivating joy and being aware of life’s gifts when they are right in front of you. A gratitude practice attunes my mind to the momentary delights in the midst of busy, chaotic or difficult circumstances. Nurturing gratitude takes daily practice. At the same time, appreciating the happiness or good fortune of others and of showing kindness to those less fortunate are keys to living a joyful life. It’s the small things that matter. It’s as simple as that. Really, I can’t wait to have my nephews and niece hanging around. Love is the way.

Photo: marin
Published: June 26, 2013