The following is an excerpt from Savvy Auntie: The Ultimate Guide for Cool Aunts, Great-Aunts, Godmothers and All Women Who Love Kids by Melanie Notkin (William Morrow/HarperCollins).

 
When we hear we’re going to be an auntie, one of the first things we want to know is what the baby’s name will be. Will the baby be named after a loved one? Will the name be trendy? And of course, most importantly—will Savvy Auntie approve?

Etiquette is necessary when taking on the testy topic of baby names. Laura Wattenberg, author of The Baby Name Wizard: A Magical Method for Finding the Perfect Name for Your Baby, offers some advice.

When you first hear the proposed name of a niece or nephew, make sure whether this is the parents telling you the name or asking your opinion on it. Hearing the name is not an automatic invitation to share your opinion. If you say you don’t like the name, you’ll probably hurt their feelings. And that’s not savvy.

But we understand that a name can say a lot. They send messages, and that’s why we care so much. For example, one of the most sensitive issues surrounding a name is, to put it delicately, trailer trashiness. But you probably don’t want to tell Mom and Dad that. Instead, find facts on which you can build your argument. Facts are better than emotions in this situation. Google the proposed name; does the website for an adult entertainer pop up? Remind Mom that her daughter will likewise be Googling her name as soon as she’s tall enough to reach a keyboard. You might also show how a name is losing popularity, which has the effect of aging the person who goes by it. Why should little Richard endure a name that makes him sound like he’s already a grown-up—or worse, saddles him with the nickname “Little Richard?”

Be sensitive, and remember that once the name is given, there is no choice but to say, “How lovely!” After all, you will love this child regardless of his or her name. In the end, it probably doesn’t matter as much as you think it does right now.


Photo: luanateutzi
Publish: March 5, 2012
Re-Published: February 22, 2017