Editor’s Note: Guest author Amy Rosenfeld is a Savvy Special Needs Auntie. Here, she shares her experiences with navigating her disability in her relationship with her niece and nephew.

By Amy Rosenfeld

My nephew and niece live in San Francisco. They do not know that I have a learning disability, and the question has not come up. To them, I am “normal” - not someone with a disability. I play Monopoly with my nephew, and although I lose big time, he does not realize it is because I have a learning disability in math.

I play Candy Land with my niece and my nephew, and because I know colors and can do basic counting, my learning disability does not show up. To them, I am just plain ol’ Aunt Amy, or Aim (as my brother calls me), or Amy.

I am grateful that my niece and nephew have not asked questions about my learning disability. They do not refer to me as someone with a disability. Yes, I may be slower, and I may not be as fit and able to walk up and down all those big, ginormous hills in San Francisco, but, I am still Aunt Amy.

To my niece, I am the one who brings her Fancy Nancy books and reads them to her, too. I am the one who plays Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders with her.

To my nephew, I am the one who also brings him books. I am the one who plays Monopoly with him, and I am the one who is usually left in charge when my brother and sister-in-law go out for the evening.

Still, it is a relief that the only people in the house who are aware that I have a learning disability are my brother and his wife. The kids have not been told this, and I hope that they are not ever told this.  

I think that if my niece and nephew ever found out that I have a learning disability, they might think of me differently, but how so?

I think that they would see me as a failure, or perhaps, as the aunt who is “stupid.” I am afraid that they would not look up to me, and would ask me why I am different than they are. I am worried that my niece and nephew would think and worry about whether they could catch my disability, and also start asking me questions about that, too.

I think that, for now, I will encourage my brother and sister in law not to tell my niece and nephew that I have any disability of any kind. I just want to be known to them as Aim, Aunt Amy, or Amy.

Published: July 12, 2010