Does your little niece or nephew tend to tattle on a sibling or friend when they witness a peer has caused harm? New research in Social Development published at Wiley finds that by age three, children will tell a caregiver like a parent, babysitter, or their favorite aunt, when they see a child harming another.

While some may think these mini enforcers want to make sure they aren’t blamed for the preschooler infraction, the researchers found that even when children knew they would not be accused, they still told a caregiver about what had occurred. The reason? Little children want to manage and maintain social norms and make sure everyone is cooperating.

"Children's tattling is often viewed as an undesirable behavior. But at least under some circumstances, tattling can also be seen as evidence that children recognize important social norms and that they care enough about those norms to try and make sure that others follow them as well. This kind of norm enforcement is generally seen as a positive force in social groups," said co-author Dr. Amrisha Vaish, of the University of Virginia.

While many children in the study had no issue speaking up even when the violation did not affect them directly, the researchers found that shy children were much less likely to speak up. Being sensitive to our shy nieces and nephews and their inclination to not say anything while being ready to listen if and when they are ready to share, may be a good way to build trust in their ConfidAunt.

Meltem Yucel, Amrisha Vaish. Young children tattle to enforce moral norms. Social Development, 2018 DOI: 10.1111/sode.12290

Photo: Dean Drobot