By Libby Koultourides

In honor of Victorious Woman Month, one of our guest contributors talks about her experience helping a young woman from Rwanda adjust to life in America.

A couple of years ago, I was asked by a friend to meet a young woman who had just arrived from Rwanda. She had started classes at a nearby college, and my friend thought that I might be able to help introduce her to others and assist her as she adjusted to American culture.

I met Nadine for coffee with my friend one winter morning, and asked her about herself. I quickly learned that I was meeting an extraordinary human being who had endured more in her twenty three years than I will ever know. She quietly shared that she was a survivor of the Rwandan genocide. She was 5 years old when the genocide happened, and she had witnessed the murder of her father and lost her younger brother. Her mother and sister survived, and were still living in Rwanda. Nadine had come to the United States for an education, but was lost and alone in a culture that could never relate to what she had seen and lived.

Nadine's English was quite good and we bonded as she told me more about herself, and I asked if she would allow me to help her meet others and get used to life in America. While she lived on campus at college, she didn't have anyplace to go for the holidays and breaks. Since my parents and siblings live close by, we invited her to join us for times when students were gone from campus. Within a few months, she had become like a little sister to my siblings and me and a third daughter to my parents.

One of the reasons Nadine was so easy to love was not because she had endured tragedy or had the mystique of coming from a faraway culture. It was the simplicity with which she seemed to view life and the peace that she radiated in spite of all she had endured. I asked her once how she was able to experience joy after all she had suffered. She told me that at some point she had to choose whether to be thankful to God for her life and live it to the fullest, or to be bitter and hang on to the wounds of the past.

While being an aunt is mostly about caring for our biological nieces and nephews, sometimes we Savvy Aunties are asked to take on a caregiving role for those outside of our family circle. Embracing my role as an aunt means that I'm open to a wider view of family. Meeting Nadine has enriched my life inexplicably, and through her interactions with my family, my nieces and nephews have gained a larger worldview as well. My prayer is that Nadine will be reunited with her mother and sister sooner rather than later, but in the meantime, she will always be welcome around our table.

Photo: africa
Published: May 13, 2013