By John D. Gresham

I still remember the day back in early 2000 when I got the phone call telling me my sister was pregnant, and the genuine amazement I felt at the news. Amazement, because as children of divorce, and having a failed marriage in both our lives, the idea of my sister or I ever having children was almost inconceivable. I was an author with a string of bestselling books beginning to dabble in magazine journalism and documentary film, and she was a successful promoter and distributor of specialty clothing for the entertainment industry. Both of us were self-centered and focused on our careers, and I frankly had admired her for marrying a second time several years earlier to a wonderful gentleman she now lived with in Texas.

So when my new niece arrived in 2000, it was with a genuine sense of both awe and amazement as I saw my sister, brother-in-law, and the rest of our collective families close ranks around this beautiful little baby in the weeks and months that followed. I actually was something of a latecomer to the adoring crowd, as I was finishing a book at the time, but soon began to receive a steady stream of pictures and stories about this new niece of mine.

It’s not that I was a reluctant uncle; just very occupied and geographically distant from what was happening around her down in Texas. Then a few years later, things began to happen fast.

I still remember the day my mom called, and asked if I wanted to talk to my niece. I fumbled the moment, not really sure what to say to someone I had not seen since a brief visit at a family funeral, but listened and heard, “Hi Uncle John!” I suddenly realized that our family was going to continue past my sister and I, and that she already knew who and what I was. It was the beginning of a growing dialog that continues to this day, that always ends with the heart-melting words, “I love you Uncle John!”

What do you say to something like that, so unconditional and honest that you do not dare question the sincerity? As a single heterosexual man in my 50s with no kids of my own, growing older and beginning to feel the years, my niece has been my personal portal back to my youth, and the young people I have come to enjoy so much the past few years.

Every time I call down to Texas and talk to my niece, she amazes me with the growth of her mind vocabulary. Almost weekly, new ideas and words flow from her, and I am realizing that a formidable mind and great soul is being formed inside of my sister’s daughter. I’ll say it: I’m proud to be her uncle and part of her family. And while it is not a parent’s pride, who says an uncle cannot be a cheerleader and fan of such an incredible 10-year-old as she finds life’s third gear and heads into her teen years?

For the first time this past weekend, I considered the idea of having her fly up and spend a week touring the Washington, DC area with just me, and showing her some of the world I have lived in for the past two decades. That is an amazing mental step for a 50-something bachelor who has been the center of his own world for a half-century, but amazing things seem to come when you are an uncle.

So what am I learning as an uncle? Probably much of what I would have learned as a parent, had that been my course in life. That children are, perhaps, the ultimate act of optimism in a troubled world, and we owe them our best as adults, despite our own lots in life. I’ve also learned that even in families with troubled pasts, children can become the glue and light that brings us into a better time, and takes us all to a better place.

Guess what guys? I’m an uncle, and proud to be one!

John D. Gresham is a bestselling author.

Published: October 26, 2010