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Dancing into La-La’s Land
I'm not sure that there is a word descriptive enough to illustrate the emotion I felt as I watched my sister-in-law, Vanessa, give birth to my first niece. I was mesmerized by the beauty of a child entering into the world and thankful for the opportunity to witness such an event as the doctor instructed Vanessa to "push push push!"
Londyn Elizabeth glided into our world with such grace and tranquility that the nurse turned to me and said, "Your sister-in-law made that look really easy!" But, I barely heard her as I watched my big brother, Jeffrey, nervously cut the cord then watch helplessly as the nurses carried his new daughter over to a corner of the delivery room to be cleaned up and weighed.
Londyn cried for a few minutes but calmed down when her father began to talk and sing to her. Tears welled up in my eyes because watching him reminded me of our father with me. I'm a Daddy's Girl, after all. I knew right then that Londyn would be a Daddy's Girl, too.
The first time I held Londyn in my arms, I fought back tears. Looking into her alert little eyes, I felt an overwhelming sense of unconditional love for her. Listening to her breathe made me want to be the absolute best aunt and example I could be to her and to her two big brothers, Christopher and Tyler. Hearing her cry made me want to shield her and protect her from all manner of hurt, harm and danger. Knowing that she wouldn't always be that small and that I couldn't protect her from everything broke my heart. I found myself thinking, "Goodness, if this is how I feel about my niece I can't even begin to imagine how overwhelming the love for my future children will be. I don't think I'm going to be able to contain myself!"
The days following Londyn's "born-day" were long and tiring. I was constantly checking in on an extremely exhausted sister-in-law while she rested in the hospital and I didn't get much sleep because I was just too excited to close my eyes. I was now the proud aunt of a beautiful baby girl and I didn't want to miss a thing!
When my sister-in-law first told me that she was having a baby girl, I prayed that I would have the opportunity to be to my new niece who my favorite aunt (Lesa) is to me. Aunt Lesa is one of the two most important women in my life, my mother being the first, of course and no matter what the issue is, I know that I can bring it to my aunt and be received with love and objectivity. That's what I want to be for my little "La-La."
Now that Londyn is home with her mom and dad, we have all fallen back into our daily routines. Yet, we are overjoyed about the newest addition to our family. My prayer is that Londyn will grow to be a whole person with a beautiful mind and humble spirit. As her aunt, I will do my best to help her, along with her parents, to be just that.
This little girl has captured my heart and I don't even want it back.
*sigh*