The Gift-Giving Auntie's Lament
I may be the only person who actually is happy when my coworkers bring in their kids' fund raising forms - especially if it's for gift wrap.
Since I don't have children of my own, I find that more presents go out of my household than come in - and, as a result, I'm perpetually out of gift bags, wrapping paper and ribbon.
Giving presents isn't the problem - I really enjoy finding "the perfect gift," that tchotchke that will spread delight across the face of the recipient and will get a little niece to say her adorable phrase of the moment. Rather, the problem is when the parents of those little ones fail to take a moment to recognize what Aunties (and Uncles) do for their kids throughout the year.
Don't get me wrong: I don't expect a medal or an extravagant gift just because I don't have kids of my own. I'm just asking for a bit of consideration every now and then.
We at Savvy Auntie deal with similar topics each year around Mother's Day, but the November - December holidays can be equally isolating for women like us who are childless, whether by choice or by chance. Often, holiday schedules are set by family members or friends who have children, simply because there are more people to coordinate and nap times and feedings to observe.
Part of being a Savvy Auntie is doing what's best for nieces and nephews, but as infertility activist Risa Levine told us earlier this year, "It’s really hurtful to never be the one whose time is valued."
I fully admit that this concept, combined with the general stress of trying to visit too many people in too short a time, brings out the Scrooge in me, despite my usual inner Fezziwig.
So, if you're a mom, take a moment this holiday season to let the Savvy Auntie in your kids' lives know that she's appreciated and valued. I guarantee it'll make her holidays merry and bright!
Melanie Linn Gutowski, Savvy Auntie's Associate Editor, is a proud Godmother and ABC.
Published: November 30, 2010